Crazy Town

Yesterday was the weirdest day I've had in a while...

To get to work, I park in a lot and ride a shuttle bus 9 blocks to my office. Recently there were some "paperwork" problems and they had to stop the shuttle and hire a bus to shuttle clients until they could get their "paperwork" (i.e. bribe to city workers) sorted out.

Yesterday, I get on the bus along with one other lady mid-afternoon to go back to the parking lot. The bus driver starts driving and says "What is this bus for?" Wait. You are driving the bus and you don't know why? So we tell her it's for the park-n-ride. "Where's the garage?" WTF? You're driving people to and from the garage and you don't know where it is??!! So we tell her how to get there and then she rambles on about how no other drivers want to pick up the job because it doesn't pay, etc. etc. Weird. I get off the bus and go about my business, coming back about an hour later to the parking lot and wait for the bus to bring me back to work. And wait. And wait. And when the bus shows up, she's got Burger King. There is no BK on the bus route she is supposed to be driving. The closest BK is on St. Charles Avenue. It's a 4 hour shift - she couldn't have eaten before or waited until she was done? 'Cause she's making me late. Also, as I'm getting onto the bus I see one of the passengers consoling her and telling her it wasn't her fault and "it doesn't cost anything to be polite". This can't be good. But, I get on the bus and away we go. We pick up people at the first stop, and she tells them they're standing in the wrong place (they weren't) and next time they won't get picked up. When we all tell her they are in the right spot she starts arguing and telling us we aren't listening to her and that if they want to be picked up next time they'd better be on the corner. Where they are doing construction. And there's no sidewalk due to the construction. At a very busy downtown intersection.

Later in the day, I'm headed over to Mom's. I stop at McD's drive through to get dinner for the kids. I order:
1 Big Mac meal,
1 double cheeseburger kid's meal, and
1 hamburger kid's meal.

I look at the screen and it says:
1 Big Mac meal,
1 chicken nugget meal, and
1 hamburger kid's meal.

So I correct him and it's all correct on the screen and I pay and drive to the next window, where I receive:
1 Big Mac meal,
1 chicken nugget meal, and
1 hamburger kid's meal.

No. I hand her the nuggets and tell her it's supposed to be a dbl cheeseburger. She leaves, comes back, and tells me no, you get a hamburger. No, I need a dbl cheeseburger. No, she tells me again. As I go to show her the receipt she says "hold on" and walks away. She comes back and says, "How is that dbl cheeseburger made?" WTF??!! Which one of us works here?! Eventually I got my order and left. Without making it myself.

Have a nice TRIP, see you next FALL...

Poor Molly. She's the tiniest member of our family and she's the one I keep trying to kill.

Let me start at the beginning...Back when she was just a tiny babe, right after I had just gone back to work after maternity leave, I fell on top of her. She was probably 12 1/2 weeks old, it was her first week at the babysitter's house, and it was raining. I was headed off to work, and it was cold so she was wrapped in a blanket. I was carrying her, the blanket, and a diaper bag full of breast milk. Usually I would just hand her off to Ma D on the front porch, but because I had all this stuff and it was bulky, I decided to step into the house to put down the bag and hand her off to Ma D inside. I stepped up and slipped on the wet doorsill, still holding Molly. Then, it all switched to slo-mo. I knew I was falling forward, and my first thought was to toss her onto the couch across the room...but no, she might bounce off and hit the floor. So, while falling forward, I tried to take very long steps as I fell. I almost made it...I landed on top of Molly on the edge of the couch. She cried, I cried, but she was okay. I checked her arms and legs and head and back and she was okay.

Fast forward to this weekend. We're driving back from Houston and need to make a bathroom stop. We stop in Jennings, LA at this pretty nice gas station. I take the 2 girls in, BB goes into a stall, and I change Molly on the wall-changer-thingy. I put her on the floor and BB comes out of the stall. I don't know what happened next but I fell. Again with the slo-mo. I tried to correct my balance but Molly was standing right there and I didn't want to step on her foot, but I couldn't correct and ended up knocking her over and falling on her. I landed on my arm which landed on her arm. The sunglasses, baby wipes, and diaper cream flew to the far corners of the bathroom. Other moms rushed over to make sure we were okay. Molly was screaming, BB was crying, I just sat on the bathroom floor holding Molly and making sure nothing was broken. And throught it all I really had to pee. So, after sitting a minute holding and consoling Molly, I get up and bring her to Jerrod, tell him what happened and head back to the bathroom for myself.

The whole rest of the trip, everytime she cried I worried her arm was broken. Poor baby, it's gonna be a miracle if she makes it to 2 years old without me accidentally smooshing her.

There's no place like home.

Houston was wonderful! We got in around 10:30 Friday night and had a great time thereafter. Saturday went shopping with SIL(H) and Molly at the Galleria while the guys (and BB) played at Dave & Busters. Great dinner Sat, Sunday did a fun lunch and more D&B, followed by naps and dinner. Monday got up and went shopping at the liquor store at 10 am (hey, we're from New Orleans, what do you expect? At least we didn't bring our kids inside...this time), went into the Houston Tunnels, had lunch with SIL at the Houston branch of "the firm", and then came home. It was awesome!!! I can't even remember all the things we laughed about, but we laughed a lot!

While we were there, J bought me a pink, cordless mouse for my computer at work. I love it!!! It's exactly what I need! I've been complaining that my mouse cord is too short, and it keeps falling on the floor whenever I shut my drawer. Now, I can shut my drawer worry-free!

3 weeks before we left, I ordered $50 worth of cards from Coke Rewards, and they came in 4 days after I ordered them. That was quick, so I ordered $100 more 12 days before we left. They didn't come, and didn't come, and didn't come. Guess what was waiting for us in our mailbox upon our return? You guessed it, the D&B cards...which expire in November. I'm pretty sure we won't be back before they expire, so H1 and SIL(H), enjoy!!!

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

I'm sitting here feeling very dirty. (Not THAT kind of dirty - get your mind out of the gutter!) I colored my hair last night and am getting it cut today, so I didn't wash it this morning. Oh the Horrors! Seriously, I am one of those people who has to wash their hair EVERY DAY. Even if I'm sick, not going anywhere, or going swimming later in the day I'll still wash my hair. So, until noon, I feel dirty. Then, after my haircut, I'll feel like those gals on TV who swish their hair in slo-mo while riding a horse or walking through a library so you can see how beautiful their hair is. Except I'll probably fall down the escalator at my first attempt at a swish. Maybe I'll try it at home first.

Then there's this. I can see it all from my window at work. Although I realize it's horrible for the environment, it's actually kind of interesting to see the boats out there pulling the booms (I think that's what they are) through the river to contain the spill. You can see the fuel on top of the river. And I can see the crane where they're trying to pull up the barge that broke in half. Tragic, but interesting.

One more day until we visit the H-clan in H-town!! Yippee!!!

Big butts are great but they're also gross*

*uttered during BB's observations on celebrities.

Well, I noticed SIL's blog has a new look. Nice. I also notice that her blogroll notes when the blog was last updated. Nothing like a friendly reminder that you haven't blogged recently. I have, but still, I feel pressure to blog again. So don't expect anything spectacular here today. I'm just taking up space and working my way up SIL(H)'s blogroll!

Although, I must pat myself on the back - a few websites I've found have made it to other people's blogs!!!! Awww....(blushes)....you guys flatter me! Somehow, I just feel a little less lame.

Here's some random stuff that's been bugging me:

1. I think Molly really does have OCD. I joke about it, but apparently I joke about it because it's really bothering me. As I have mentioned before, she pulls out her hair and eats it (or at least chews on it). She loves to clean, and has become very interested in washing her hands. My hope is that these last two are just normal milestones that all kids go through. And, once we get back from Houston we're going to ditch the binky. Maybe she'll stop chewing her hair once that's gone - usually she pulls her hair then puts it and the binky in her mouth.

2. (Background: sometimes when I'm on my blog or another family member's blog, I'll click on the "next blog" link at the top of the page. I just goof around until I find something interesting, or give up and log off.) Twice in the last week I've found blogs by foreigners that refer to "fat Americans" or "lazy Americans". So I started poking around a bit, and find it is quite a common stereotype. Yes, I'm fat. And I'm an American. BUT, I'd like to think I'm more than that. I don't think I'm rude. When travelling I try not to stick out as an obvious tourist. I am fascinated with other countries and cultures and I assume other countries and cultures are interested in us. Why else would they come visit, work, and go to school? SOMETHING's gotta be right with this country, right?

Everything's back to (not) normal.

Ian is in H-town for the week, he flew out yesterday. Cousins K and B left this morning to go back to Orlando. BB starts zoo camp tomorrow. Then, if I can make it through the week, we leave Friday evening for H-town....can't wait!!!!

Ian's birthday was nice, I think. DtM was kind enough to babysit and the whole fam all headed over to The Palace to see Hellboy 2. I enjoyed it, although it was a bit on the mushy side. I love the humor and the action, though, so I'd give it a thumb's up.

As Ian was getting ready to leave for Houston, he mentioned he needs to shave again soon. He's only done it once before, so I told him not to do it in Houston if his aunt or uncle are not home. Cousin B says, "I can see it now...(phone rings),Aunt Hannah, I was shaving and I cut myself, I think I'm dying, and she says, I can't leave work right now, baby, call Uncle Mike...meanwhile he's bleeding to death in their living room....hahahaha!" What a comedian!

We had a very nice visit with the cousins, I hope they had fun. BB and Molly miss them already. I was surprised how quickly she took to them, I wonder if she remembers them from vacation last month.

Happy 15th Birthday Ian!!!!!

Happy Birthday, son. I hope your 15th year is full of happiness and love. It seems like you were born yesterday, it's hard to believe you're almost a man.

I love you.

Yes, I know, shut up about Harry Potter already!

I was watching Talk Soup with Cousin K last night, and this clip came on. Hahahahaha!!!

For some reason the sound is low. I tried several video sites and they're all like that. Sorry.

BB's QotD

Whilst driving in the car this afternoon with my 3 hellions and Cousins K and B, the discussion turned to kilts. There was a slight debate about whether it is a "man skirt" (it's not) and then Cousin B pipes up that you can't wear underwear underneath a kilt.

At which point BB states: "Then people shorter than you will see your balls."

I'm still not sure how my 7-year-old daughter knows what balls are, or how to use the term in proper context ("proper" being a relative term).

This and That, or, That and This

First, let me say K-leen and B-man are in the hizz-ouse!!! Hahaha -that always embarasses the kids when I say it out loud (snicker, snort!). I hope they're having fun hanging out with my stinky angels.

I have to tell you my latest music obsession. I know, I know, last time I did that it was "Hey there Delilah" and now everytime I hear it I have to change the station then puke. How was I to know it would become the most-played song ever? But this song, "Give 'em What They Want" by the Vettes -I love it!!! It's by a local band (River Ridge) and, while it's getting quite a bit of play here, I'm not sure if they've gone national yet. If they haven't, hopefully they will soon.

Well, we went yesterday to look at a kitten (four to be exact) and potentially pick one out. I think we're gonna take two. They're very cute (males, we think) mostly black with white feet and white markings on the face. One has a white chin area with a dark "soul patch". It's pretty cute. They're only three weeks old, so they would stay with their mother for another four or five weeks, but I'm trying to think of names. Here's what I've come up with so far:

Pot and Kettle ('cause they're both black, duh!)
Harry and Ron, or
Fred and George
Frick and Frack
Chipotle and Serrano
Yours and Mine
Hustle and Flow

Any votes/suggestions?

On second thought, I don't feel guilty.

I really WAS feeling guilty over that whole "you're no. 1" incident, but then an encounter in the grocery store changed that. I was standing in a long line (gee, that never happens) with my arms full (I had three bulky items and no free hands) and I wanted to grab a magazine off the rack by the registers. I was getting a weird vibe off the guy behind me, so I didn't want to walk up and grab it because I just knew he wouldn't let me back in my place and I didn't want to deal with it. So I waited until I could get close enough to grab it and not get out of line. Well, an employee opened up the next register and called me over. I put my 3 items on the counter and turned around to grab the magazine (which was 3 steps away), at which point the guy behind me put his stuff (a bottle of cheap rum and a bottle of Coke) in front of mine and told the guy to ring him up!!! "I hope you don't mind, but I'm in a rush". Then he paid cash, but the employee hadn't opened up any of his change yet, so I had to wait for that too. What a jerk. As he left, he said "enjoy your cake". I should have told HIM that he's No. 1.

I've got some work to do....

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

I feel guilt.

Today, on the way home from work, I told some dude he's No. 1. Yeah, I gave him The Finger. He deserved it!!! I was driving down Gen. DeGualle in the right lane, and there was a car stalled ahead of me. The cars in front of me were getting over into the left lane, and traffic was light enough that it wasn't creating a problem. So, I'm probably 2 car lengths behind the stalled car, with my blinker on, and starting to get into the left lane when the guy who was in the left lane, FURTHER BACK, decides he's not going to let me in, except my front end is already in his lane. So I get back into my lane and shoot him the bird. And I know he saw it because he honked. Here's what gets me. After he and another car went, I went around the stalled car, got back into my lane, and by the time we hit the red light I was ahead of him again. So what would have been the problem? I'm pretty sure the problem was that he's an asshole.

But now I feel guilt. My mom (and probably yours too) always said "Two wrongs don't make a right." And just because he was rude doesn't mean I should have been rude too. But I'm tired of people being rude. It happens too much lately, way too much.

So, what should I have done?

Flashbang

I thought today was going to start off better than yesterday. Yesterday I washed my hair, twice, with body wash, put in the conditioner, went to wash my body and realized what I had done, rewashed/conditioned my hair with the right stuff, and finished my shower. Then, at lunch time, I got into line at Subway, ordered my sandwich, and realized I had forgotten to stop at the ATM on the way to lunch and had to leave my sandwich in line and go get cash. Not a bad day, just an "off" day.

So this morning, I get up and see J's phone is on the couch, not with him at work. Okay, I'll call him later and he can get it from me at work. I hop into the shower and wash all the correct parts with all the correct products. I hear the phone ring twice and figure it's him, mentally noting I'll call him later. Then I hear knocking. Did he come home and can't get in? Well, he leaves the front door unlocked every morning, that can't be it. More knocking. I poke my head out of the shower curtain, he's not knocking at the bathroom window. More knocking. More peeking. More knocking. I finish rinsing off and hop out of the tub, and peek into the bedroom to see if he's knocking at the bedroom window. Nope.

So I open the bathroom door as I'm throwing on a bathrobe, and there is Ian, standing at the doorway, while I'm in all my full-frontal glory, because in my rush to get out I hadn't closed the robe yet. Turns out he was knocking on the bathroom door to tell me J called.

That boy is going to need therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.

SSDD*

*Same Shit, Different Day

So I was flipping channels this weekend while Molly was (thankfully) taking a short nap. I happened upon a really good documentary about Hurricane Katrina on Nova, through PBS. (The show was about an hour, and this link breaks it down into 6 segments.) Molly woke up before it was over, so I didn't get to see how they wrapped it up (yes, I know how the story ended, but did they end their program on a hopeful note, an accusatory note, or what?!), but while I was watching it I did get a bit teary-eyed. It's like watching a train wreck about to happen and knowing it's going to be terrible and you can't do anything to change it. I found that when they would flash a date or time across the screen I would mentally go to where I was at that time and how I felt like evacuating was going to be a waste of time and vacation hours from work. Boy was I wrong.

I would venture to say (although I didn't see the end) that this was one of the best documentaries about the storm that I've seen. Not sensational, well edited and good video clips.

And, if that gets you down, try watching this to cheer you up!

WAAAAHHHHH!!!WWAAAAHHHH!!!WWWAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Oh My God - all she does is cry. If this is what my next year and a half look like with her, kill me now, all at once, rather than slowly chipping away at my brain, bit by bit, until I lose my mind and sink to the floor in a sad, broken heap.

Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly. She's still the cutest baby around. But Jesus help me, I'm going to go insane. H1 and SIL(H) got a tiny, tiny snapshot of what she's like and why I can't go out anymore. You'd think by kid #3 I'd be used to this.

BB's Quote of the Day: We're out walking and BB is complaining she's getting sweaty. I tell her sweating is good for you...."But I don't want sweaty balls." Hahaha - see why I keep her?*

*I should mention that the SNL "Schwetty Balls" skit featuring Alec Baldwin is one of my all-time favorites. That and the "Need more Cowbell" feat. Christopher Walken.

Fluff

Ihave to get this off my chest:

I hate Rhianna. I don't know why, I just do. And she's got, like, 6 songs in rotation on the radio right now. It's driving me nuts! I think it all started with the song Unfaithful - it's stupid. She says she's killing her boyfriend by cheating on him and she doesn't want to be a murderer. Then stop cheating on your boyfriend or break up with him. It's not that hard, bitch. Then came Umbrella. Or should I say Um-ba-rella. Ella. Ella. Ella. Ey. Ey. Ey. I just can't seem to forgive her for those two songs. The rest of her songs are okay, I guess, but they have the stench of her first two more annoying songs that just won't wash off. But here's the thing - as much as the mere thought of her makes me feel "oogie", when one of her songs comes on the radio I find myself singing along! Then I'm annoyed with her AND me!!! I think I may need therapy to sort this one out. Can I charge that to her record label?

Musings on Mortality.

Well, today is Mr. Brian’s funeral. Although he was a friend of my parents, he was only 15 years older than I am. If I knew today that I had 15 years left, what would I change? Ian would be 30, BB would be 22, and Molly would be 16. Wow – a chill just went down my spine – 15 years would not be enough time. I know I don’t get to pick when I’m going to die, but 53 is way too young.

I’d like to say I’d quit work and spend more time with my family, but that’s not really realistic - we’d all still need to eat and stuff. Would I spend less time cleaning? I’d like to say yes but I don’t see that happening either. I’d be sitting there in my messy house twitching uncontrollably and in a foul mood. I think what I would do is watch less TV and spend more time doing stuff with the kids. I’ve carried around in the back of my head an idea for a weekly game night/no TV night. Maybe it’s time to start. Maybe more hugs should be passed around. (and maybe more vacations?!)

And I’d tell my family “I love you” more often. Because I do. I don’t always show it but it is true. And I would stop stressing over piddly little shit. Because in the end it won’t matter whether or not I was the favorite (parent, child, sister, friend, whatever), because I will know we are all “the favorite” in our own way. And I know that through all the bitching we love and are loved by each other.

To KenEllie:

Happy 2nd Anniversary! Has it been 2 years already? We love you both - have a great day at Blue Bayou!!