Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Can't get my thoughts together...

So, I thought I'd share with you what I ate for breakfast this morning - pavement. Yup, that's right, I was crossing the street towards my office and fell. Didn't slip, didn't trip, just fell. On my face. Right in front of One Shell Square. Totally embarrassed. Just a scratch to my chin, my lip is a bit puffy - but only on one side, God forbid I'd at least get a whole "beestung" lip out of it. But I feel bad (ah,yes, the guilt) because some man tried to help me up and, as I recall (it's kind of sketchy) I waved him away so I could pull myself up using the light post. I don't think I thanked him. So now I feel bad that he offered help and I didn't thank him. That's the kind of thing that could be the catalyst to terrorist activity - you know, pay it forward (in reverse?) kind of stuff - he's miffed I didn't say thanks, so he's rude to someone else, who's rude to someone could end up with total anarchy and the downfall of modern society.

In other news, next week marks my 2nd anniversary with the firm. Wow, it doesn't seem like I've been there that long; it still feels like my "new" job. And, I'm still loving it.

Took Ian today for his orthodontic consultation and he is getting braces on May 12. They wanted to do it May 11 but I told them that's my birthday (*cough*BarnesandNoblegiftcard*cough*) and I'm taking a "me" day off of work and didn't want to spend it at the orthodontist's office.

Just as an FYI, my favorite curse word is "mother f*cker". Why was I thinking about this? I don't know, but I was. If you stop and think about it, it's really a huge insult. Unless your mom is hot....wait, no, even then it's still an insult. I don't know, as far as curse words go, it's a good one.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

Wanna see something funny? Use a sentence containing the word "condiment" in it to a 15-year-old boy, then watch his expression....

raises eyebrow, "heh heh, you said condom-ent"....

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Random goodness

When I go to work in the morning, I park in a garage and ride a shuttle bus to the office. There are two shuttles, and they usually have the same two drivers. Sometimes they play music, not often, but occasionally. Today, I don't know what the song was called, but I swear the refrain went something like this: "I want to show you how much I love you, Wrap your chunky legs around my waist" The first time I heard it I started laughing right there on the shuttle. I couldnl't figure out the rest of the words because I was trying not to listen too hard to keep from laughing, but every time I heard the refrain I couldn't help myself. I really don't think I heard wrong. It was very surreal.


The weather here has been beautiful - sunny, warm, slight breeze. I'm lovin' it. I like to drive with my sunroof open during the two weeks in the spring and fall before it gets too hot or too cold. But I have a fear - what if I'm driving down the street with my sunroof open and a squirrel falls from the power lines while I'm driving under it? I think I'd probably wreck the car. So then I start thinking of how I'm gonna handle it and what tactics will provide the least amount of damage.


Ellie - stop reading here until you finish Breaking Dawn!!!!!
So I'm thinking about the book, and I start wondering if Ms. Meyer had this imaginary conversation in her head:
Renesmee: Jacob, you're such a good kisser.
Jacob: You too - you're a much better kisser than your mom.

On that note....Later alligators!!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I am so excited about this. I can't wait for June - yes, honey, I will actually tear myself away from reading and sit in front of the TV for an hour every Sunday night!! I expect to see H2 and GF there with us (squee!!)

In related news, there are 13 days until her latest book comes out - Dead and Gone (squee!!).

Okay, I guess this whole post is just advertisement for Charlaine Harris.
Yeah, I know it's a picture of Sookie and Bill, but the ones of Sookie and Eric didn't fit as well.....besides - Eric is mine!!!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

He lives in a lair...

Okay, so I'm always searching for something to read. I search the internet sites I like for reader recommendations. Several sites mentioned this Carpathian series (it's 20 books - yay!). Well, I started reading them and wow. Kinda dissappointed. They are like vampires but not. When they go bad they become vampires, but not undead. Anyhoo, I'm up to book 3 (I'm so disappointed I keep reading them - yeah, I have issues) and the vampire kidnaps the "independent young heroine" and brings her to a cave. "Where are we?" she asks. "In my lair," is his reply. I mean, please. Who says "this is my lair"? Honestly. Then he proceeds to chain her to the wall. Where are all these caves with convenient chains attached to the walls? Maybe here in Louisiana the water table makes the cave walls to weak to support chains so if you kidnap someone and bring them to your lair you have to just tie them with rope and put them in a corner (technically not since caves are not square - okay put them in a crevice?). In all of the photos of caves I looked at, not one set of chains....hmmmmm....

Oh yeah, my point is....I'm going to call either my house or my bedroom my lair. I can't decide which. I know you'll be waiting with baited breath so I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Eye love you to death.

Happy (day before) Easter!!! When I wrote my last post and said "nothing else going on here", it wasn't a complaint - let me make that clear. Because someone upstairs must have taken it as such.....Thursday J calls me at work to tell me I need to pick up GuacaMolly because he's in the E.R. having his eye washed. They put some kind of drip into it like Chinese water torture. Long story short, he got paint thinner in his eye at work and got a chemical burn on his cornea. He's been going to the doctor every morning and will continue to do so for a while. He's putting all kinds of stuff into his eye to keep it dilated, and some other medicines, including one that states clearly on the package that it's for infants of mothers with obvious gonorrhea - WTF? His eye is all red and he looks like he's had just a bit more than too much crack. His main complaint, not that it hurts (it does), but that he can't drink until it's healed. My poor baby! And what do I do to help it along? (STOP READING HERE IF YOU ARE EATING OR RELATED TO ME) He and I are busy with the dirty bad fun and I accidentally punched him in the eye!!! Yeah, that eye. (Payback for my nose, methinks?)


Ah, the joys of having a teenager - We colored Easter eggs tonight. In case it's too blurry - let me spell these out for you: Whispering Egg and Tater Nuts. (In case you couldn't tell, the one on the right is mine) Yes, our lovely, holy Easter eggs (huh?) reference a vagina and a nutsack. Tomorrow they're going to be deviled eggs and I'm not telling which ones are made from these! Bon appetit!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

2nd place is really just 1st loser........

I finally broke down and played Wii Fit. It was fun, I played bowling and tennis. Of course, I lost, but I'm much better at Wii than Guitar Hero. It was fun....I don't think I'm ready for boxing yet, and I almost knocked Molly out while I was bowling, but it was family fun time for sure.

Nothing else going on here - Molly and J have been sick so my house is ready for open windows and fresh air. Thankfully I'm off tomorrow so hopefully I'll get a bit of spring cleaning done!

Family Notice: BB's 1st Communion is Saturday, April 25 at 10:00 am. We'll probably just have cake and ice cream afterwards at home. We're supposed to go Saturday to find a dress and wreath for her hair - wish us luck!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Who wants to ride in Barbie's car?

My birthday is next month (*coughBarnesandNoblegiftcardcough*), so next year (2010) I will be 40. Will someone please explain to me how I still have acne breakouts? I mean, COME ON!!! I've dealt with this shit my whole life....I thought I'd be done with it by now. I've got a bathroom full of soaps and creams and gels, but I can't achieve zit-less success. When I was a teenager, it was really, really bad. And everyone (strangers too, thanks for the unsolicited advice, ass munches) always told me it was just my teenage years and would go away. Even though I knew I was being ridiculous, when I woke up on my 20th birthday the first thing I did was check the mirror to see if my acne had gone away since I was no longer a teenager. Silly, I know, but what's life without wishes, right? Seriously, though, lest you think this is a whiny, why-me post, I know there are some upsides to my skin type - things like no flaking in the winter and no wrinkles. I'm sure there are plenty of women who would gladly trade. The grass is always greener and all that shit.....

I'm reading another paranormal series, this one about a witch and vampire who are best friends and run a sort of supernatural private eye type thing. I bought the first book, and the girl at the Barnes and Noble (hint) said "That's a good series. The first book is kind of slow, but they definitely get better." Well, she was right, the first one was kind of slow, but I usually try to read the 1st and 2nd book in a series before I make my decision, and after book 2 decided to continue reading the series. When I'm trying to decide what to read or whether to continue, I look online for reviews, or sometimes I'll google a question and see if an answer pops up. Well, this time it bit me on the ass and I found out ahead of time that one of the characters I really like dies. I immediately stopped, so I didn't know where or when, but I did know that this character is really dead, can't come back to life dead. So, I got to the part where said character dies, and even though I knew it was coming, I cried like a baby. It was so sad, as I ws crying I was thinking in the back of my head that the author is really good. Even in the next book, there were a few scenes where they reminisced about the character and I got sad. I know, I know, I'm a wuss.

To end on a happy note, I was in the car with the kids, forwarding though songs on the Ipod, and Molly yells, "No, put it on Twilight!" hahaha - that's my vampy girl! Maybe I'll dress her as a vampire for halloween :)