Happy Birthday Auntie M!!!!!

Better late than never - Happy Birthday Aunt Maggie!!! Hope your dinner out was great and your cake doesn't land on your hips! Miss and love you.

Screw it!!!

J and I talked it over, and screw it...we're going to Houston!!! H1 and SIL(H), see you on Saturday!!!!!

I'm not in a blogging mood.

Christmas was wonderful, and all that jazz. Family, friends, it was all great. Right now I've got plenty of time to blog and am just not in the mood. I'm currently having stress. A LOT of stress....

The first degree of stress is really not something I can complain about - it's a dilemma many folks don't get to have. I'd like to take my 4-day weekend (the job gave us New Year's Eve off) and go to Houston with J and the kids. However, it's the weekend after Christmas and you all know what that means...you open your wallet and hear an echo too, yes? So, I'm trying to figure out if we can go or not. But, part of the decision lies in the second, more frustrating dilemma:

My babysitter is going out of town for 3 weeks and I can't find a sitter. The two people she recommended both decided to go out of town. I've sent out e-mails and made phone calls with no luck. I only earn 2 weeks of vacation a year, and I can use it all now if I need to, but then I don't have any more vacation hours until Jan 1, 2009! And, that still won't cover all the days I need covered!!!

So, even if I find a babysitter, I don't know how much they would charge, which makes it hard to calculate our possible Houston trip.

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

File this under "I didn't know"

Did you know that if you feed a 1-year-old a lemon-poppyseed scone that the poppyseeds don't digest? If so, did you also know that using a baby wipe to clean her only pushes the seeds around? So basically you end up with a poop-free diaper area covered in poppyseeds that you then have to pick off by hand! Ugh.

Although....I have heard of that expensive coffee that involves cat poop, so maybe I could "harvest" the poppyseeds and turn them into some kind of designer opium? Puts a whole new meaning to "That's some good shit, man", doesn't it?

All the good stuff, rolled into one weekend!

Wow, what a weekend! Where should I start? Oh yeah, Friday afternoon would be good. My boss let us leave 2 hours early! Awesome! J and I did up some last-minute shopping and then went out to dinner with the kids and Mom (Chiapop wasn't feeling well). After dinner we drove around our part of town looking at Christmas lights. Then we hung out at home and watched License to Wed - cute movie! That in itself is a miracle as it's pretty hard to get J to go out to eat! Saturday I had one more gift I had to buy and also needed to stop at the grocery. Guess who kept the kids and I went out BY MYSELF? Yup, my guy!! It was glorious I tell you, absolutely glorious!!! After that I did a bunch of housework, which normally would suck but strangely wasn't that bad. THEN, after dinner, after Molly was asleep, (don't let your mind wander that way, that's not where I'm going with this) Ian babysat and J & I went out on a date! To see National Treasure, Book of Secrets. I loved it! There may have been a few weak plot points but still, I thought it was great! Today J & I went to a Saints game. Mom was kind enough to babysit so I could catch the last game of the season. Let me just say, if you want a cardiac workout, go see the Saints play! Oh, the ups and downs, the great plays and ridiculous calls! It was awesome!!! Then, J made burritos for dinner. Anyone who's had his Mexican food knows how awesome it is! Then, he made "Cajun Eggnog" for dessert - yummy! One last terrific part of this weekend - I have the day off tomorrow! My bosses decided we should get a four-day weekend - yay for me!!!

Sort of BB quote of the day: We were at the restaurant Friday, and BB was reading the jokes off the kids menu. It went something like this:

BB: What does a snowman like to ride?
J: A snowwoman! (Yes, he said that in front of his innocent daughter!!!)

In case your curious, the answer was "an ice-cycle"!

I must have swallowed a magnet today.

I park in a lot down the street from my office. Today after work, I got into my car and was putting on my seatbelt when I realized someone was opening the back passenger door. I turn to see what's going on, and there is a woman putting her purse and bag onto my back seat! "Can I help you?" I ask, at which point she looks up at me and realizes she's getting into the wrong car!! We both laughed and commented on how it must've been a long day.....

Fast forward to tonight. J, Molly, and I are shopping at Target (yes, I really got him into Target 6 days before Christmas!). We are in line to check out and a gorgeous blonde in a short skirt and boots walks up and tells J she wants to see the baby because she loves babies and wants one. (Hello, I'm standing right here) Molly doesn't seem to interested (because she LOVES her Mommy) and the girl leaves with her friend. So the moral of this story is I can't let J out with Molly or he will be acosted by beautiful women. Damn! I don't get acosted by gorgeous guys when I'm out with Molly - Life's not fair!!!

Back to the Old Stompin’ Grounds

First of all, let me start by apologizing for any hurt feelings I may have caused over the weekend. I know it is not a valid excuse, but I am still not feeling well and I guess it’s made me a bit cranky. There are a few things I said in jest that may have been taken in a literal manner and if I offended anyone I apologize. I try to be a courteous guest at any occasion and if I did not succeed in that endeavor at any point this weekend, my heartfelt apologies are extended.

That being said, this was a crazy weekend. Not in a good way. Saturday I tried to do a little Christmas shopping, which is what I succeeded in doing – a LITTLE Christmas shopping. I started out at the shot bus with the girls and each one got a shot. Then, off to Toys R Us and the mall. After a quick lunch, we headed over to the French Quarter. There was a terrific shop J and I visited a few months ago and they had some great stuff I wanted to send to some out-of-town folks on my shopping list. I have been planning these purchases since we found the shop. So BB, Molly, and I walked around the French Quarter for 2 HOURS and never found the shop!!! Tired, cranky, and sore would be the words I would use to describe us by the time we got back to the car. After we got home, I took care of some household stuff, and ordered pizza and salads for dinner. I’m not 3 minutes from the house when Ian calls: Molly hit her mouth on the coffee table and is bleeding everywhere. So I turn around and race home to find Ian and Molly covered in blood. Her bottom teeth look okay, so I’m calm, then I lift up her lip and look at the uppers. Oh crap! I panic! They’re covered in blood (front and back) and the gum/lip area looks pretty messed up. I call Jerrod b/c I’m not sure if I should take her to the ER and the dentist’s office doesn’t have an emergency answering machine (great time to find that out, huh?). Of course, he is working a detail and can't leave, so he is helpless. He gives me a few choice words and tells me to get a grip, and I calm down. I decide to take her to Children’s. Haven’t been there in a while. Weird to be back. Of course, the ER was packed!! We did get in relatively quickly once the triage nurse looked at her mouth. A doctor came in and looked at her, then decided he needed a second opinion. So we waited, a long time. Long enough for me to start wondering if they had called social services because the accident happened while I wasn’t home. They didn’t. It was just a long wait. However, social services was there…Ian went to get a drink from the fountain and witnessed Child Protective Services in the process of taking custody of a child. The mom was hysterical and some big guys were involved. BB was in the bathroom and together they had to pass the whole thing. When we took Molly for X-rays we had to use the stairs to get there as the police had gotten involved in the child protection case (which was all going down in the elevators). All said, we were there about 3 hours and her teeth appear to be fine. Poor Ian and BB didn’t eat until 11:30, and we all slept a bit late Sunday (even Molly). Poor Molly had blood all over her sheets when I went in to get her.

Sunday was Dad’s birthday, so we did a bit of shopping (including a trip to Whole Foods for a Tiramisu cake) then went to KenEllies for dinner. Very tasty and love the new furniture! Molly was in rare form and cute as a button. BB and Ian locked themselves in the computer room with Guitar Hero. Eventually, we headed home to wrap up our weekend and get ready for the week. Of course, Molly woke up sick, so bed was postponed a few hours while we comforted her. While we were up, we ordered our Christmas cards (let’s just say we were a little delirious and they will be interesting) so those should go out in the mail tomorrow. Hopefully a few will arrive before Christmas!

If you’re still reading, thanks for putting up with my drivel. This cold is driving me and I just can’t seem to shake the “grumpies”.

Happy Birthday Dad!!

Happy Birthday Dad!!! Hope it's a great one! We love you!

Christmas Greetings and cat piss

We've been bad and haven't sent out Christmas cards yet. I swear I'm planning on dressing up the kids Saturday and taking a few pics to make into a Christmas card. Wish me luck, this year they're all wiggly and uncooperative.

Speaking of Christmas cards, we got a card yesterday and we have no idea who it's from! It's addressed to Patty and Jared (and last name), with no return address. The inside says something like "Merry Christmas from us", and lists the first names only of the family members. So, no last name and no return address....only problem is we don't recognize any of the first names!!! Our only clue is the postmark is from N.O. (I don't think they'll be getting a card from us!!) Detective G, we're keeping you busy this month!!!

On to more fragrant subjects. Our house reeks of cat piss. I can't figure out why. Black kitty died right after Katrina and we haven't replaced him, so it's not like it's our own cat.

Scenario 1: A cat got in the house while J was smoking and we didn't know it.
Now, this is J's theory but I just don't buy it. How could we not notice a cat in the house? He smokes right outside the back door with the back door open so he can watch TV, but I think he would have noticed if one was even in the vicinity, let alone came into the house. He thinks it could have also been responsible for knocking over the tree, but again, I think we'd have noticed a cat in the house.

Scenario 2: A cat pissed on the bin we keep our ornaments in. After we brought in the tree, we brought in the big plastic bin that has all our ornaments and decorations in it. We did most of the decorating but ran out of time and didn't put all the ornaments on the tree, so I put the lid on the bin (so Molly wouldn't get into it) because I knew we wouldn't have time Monday, so it would have to sit until Tuesday or Wednesday. Being in the garage, there is a very strong possibility that a cat peed on it. We put the bin back in the garage yesterday and J mopped the floor but it still stinks in the house.

Scenario 3: The table topper I brought home from the Christmas (Holiday) Party.
It's very pretty and has red roses, white flowers, and pine in it. J thinks the white flowers may be dogwood, which, according to him, smell like cat pee when they start to die. This sounds very possible to me, so today they went out in the trash, vase and all. We'll see how that worked.

Scenario 4: (This is the most likely scenerio) A mountain lion peed on the tree while it was still in the forest.
The Christmas tree farms are up North in the forest, right? Mountain lions live up there, right? Who is to say that a mountain lion didn't pee on our tree right before it was harvested? And I figure since cat pee is so strong, mountain lion pee must be really strong. Which would explain everything.

I can't let this one go by...

A group of us is sitting at the table in the lunchroom today, and one woman starts talking about how her sister is sick and they can't figure out what's wrong with her and it's been over a month and she can't work, she's been through all kinds of tests, etc. and everything keeps coming back normal, except that she's really sick and has a very low WBC. Most of us give the standard replies, "oh, I'm sorry to hear that", or something similar. All except one particular co-worker (the one that I work closely with). Her reply? "Maybe she's being poisoned." I shit you not. She was serious. She goes on to say she watches too many cop shows and they all sound just like the woman's sister's story, then tells about a true story about someone who was poisoned to death.

Please tell me I'm not getting a "reputation by association", because I gotta tell you, sometimes I think she's insane.

Death's door is a festive, cheery red

Who knew, right? I know, because that's where I've been for the past few days. I actually left work yesterday and slept the sleep of the dead. I missed BB's PTA meeting where I was supposed to buy her cold-weather sweats to wear under her uniform skirt (Bad Mom). I am back at work today, me and the 17 different kinds of cold meds I'm taking. I know I'm feeling better b/c I put the sheets in the wash. Nothing feels better than fresh, non-germy sheets after you've been sick. Am I cured? No, not by far, but I feel like I've pranked death by knocking on his door and then running away.

Highs and Lows

Today was a very good day and a kinda bad day, neatly rolled into one package with a big fat bow. Work was great. Got my raise for next year (first real raise in many years) and a nice bonus as well. Happy as a clam. Lovin' my life.

Then, on my way home, I get a call from mom, who had picked up BB to take her to dance class. There's a "slight" problem. Upon arriving at our house, what do they encounter but our Christmas tree - lying across the kitchen floor, blocking the back door, surrounded by water, glass, and "bubble-light goo". BB was traumatized, crying that she could not find her ornament "Snowball" that KenEllie gave her last month (we did eventually find it and it's fine). Yes, in my infinite wisdom, I loaded the tree a bit top-heavy to keep the ornaments away from Molly's curious hands. So all those Rosetree ornaments we've been collecting over the years - 3 left. My ridiculously overpriced ornament I got in Upstate New York in 2003, gone. A few of the kids' Hallmark ornaments have gone to their eternal rest in the trash can. J did a great job of cleaning up everything before we got back from dance class, so I think BB will survive. Hopefully she'll only need a year or two of intensive therapy.

Congrats to Kenny on his new job. Now he'll be 2 blocks from where I work and won't have an excuse not to have an occasional lunch with me!!!

Happy Birthday Mike!

Happy Birthday Bro! Hope it's terrific! Love you!!!

Strange things are amiss at the local Circle K*

Last night was an evening of highs and weirds....

We had a GREAT time at the Christmas Party. Drinks were flowing and I enjoyed spending time with H1, SIL (who really had to make the rounds as everyone wanted to see/meet her) and, of course, my honey-bunny. Dinner was delicious, we all had a few laughs and it all went off without a hitch. After that we met up with H2 and friends at a bar near Chiapop's house. While we were there, some old drunk guy hit a car parked on the street near the bar, left a note, drove off, and came back to the bar to do some drinkin'. SIL checked the note and it was legit, it was his business card - it appears he's a lawyer. (I guess he's a good one if he knows how to admit fault w/o getting a DUI, right?) Shortly after, J and I go home.

Now let me backtrack a few hours. Mom arrived at our house to babysit at 6:00. We left shortly after. As we were walking out the door, she asked if the H2's truck was okay parked in front of the neighbors house, as she was across from a driveway. It'll be fine, people park there all the time, was my reply. (It's true, even though we all have driveways, our streets have a lot of parked cars - maybe we have a lot of popular neighbors?) Anyhoo, we come home, mom drives off, and our phone rings...there's a note on the truck winshield and a huge dent in the side of the truck!!! Apparently our neighbor hit it. Damn, mom, wanna pick some lottery numbers for me? The note said she'd already called her insurance company and the police, so that's a good sign that things are gonna work out.

Today we're supposed to get a Christmas tree, have lunch with the fam, see M/H to give them their Christmas gifts and go over the kids' stuff, then J will take them to the airport this evening. As usual, their visit was too short!

*shout out to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Murphy can take his law and shove it!!!

Things have been rolling along pretty well here. I took the day off due to lack of a babysitter, and because of that I was able to pick up H1 and SIL(H) from the airport. While I was parking, I found a $20 bill on the ground in the parking garage! J calls and says he's almost at the exit for the airport (coming home from Baton Rouge) so he stops to join Molly and I in greeting M/H. Then, Chiamom calls and says we're going out to dinner to celebrate H1's birthday - sweet! Fabulous day, right? Right.

Then, apparently I catch Murphy's eye. J and I are on our computers, checking to see what we missed during the day, and he mentions he got an e-mail Thursday from a "charity company" that we had ordered some Christmas gifts from. Apparently, someone broke into their database and stole credit card info. Hmmm. So we continue doing our web-surfing, and when I'm done, I just click on our bank to make sure everything's kosher (it is channukah, right?). (See what I did there - kosher, channukah, hahaha) So I click on our credit card b/c it looks a little higher than normal, but I figured maybe J charged some stuff while he was out of town. Wrong! There were 2 charges for about $1100 on the bill. So we called our bank - more stuff hadn't hit yet. These bastards charged up about $2000 on our credit card - electronics and flowers (5 times with the flowers, what gives?) and even $1 for itunes! Who pays for downloads, anyway? (just kidding if the federal government or law enforcement or a company representative from apple is reading this. heh heh)

So. It's 2 1/2 weeks until Christmas, we are overdrawn, and our credit card has been cancelled. (Yes, we are one of those weird families who only have 1 credit card) I am going to the Christmas (I mean Holiday) party and then drink my cares away!!! Merry Christmas Murphy, you son of a bitch!

Parenting is full of s*

Surprises. Parenting is full of surprises. And surprising questions. (*You thought I was gonna say “sh!t”, didn’t you?)

Yesterday morning, on the way to school, BB asks me a question. “Did you and Daddy have the s-word when you had me?” I can only assume she means in order to have her, not WHEN I had her, haha. So I said “do you mean sex?” to which she nodded her head. I answered her honestly, and she replied with “Gross. You only did it once, right?” I explained to her that we have 3 kids, so she said “oh, then you only did it 3 times, right?”, to which I replied, “yes, we have had sex 3 times”. Not really a lie, more an omission of facts, right? Because I'm not going to discuss my sex life with my six-year-old daughter. I’m not even gonna tell you about the conversation we had about the Virgin Mary last night after dinner. Needless to say she was very disappointed that "virgin" in that context relates to sex.

As if that wasn’t enough “sex talk” with my offspring, this happened last night as well: Ian asks to use my computer last night, which is fine (his is out of commission). He’s goofing around, looking for info about Shakespear (!) and then goes to youtube. Next thing you know, he’s asking me about a particular video I’ve never heard of and he can’t find on youtube. He overheard some kids at school talking about it. On youtube he can only find REACTIONS to the video. So I’m thinking, he goes to private school, I assume the kids all come from good families, should be okay right? Hmmm…so I look and can’t find it on youtube either. Then I google it. Holy cow!!! It’s a porn site, I think. I couldn’t even get far enough to determine that, I'm not sure if the participants were dressed or not - that's how bad it was. This was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how much worse it got than what I saw, I couldn’t watch the whole thing. Needless to say, he didn’t get to watch any of it. I’m not linking it here, it was that gross. If you really want to know, call me.

Luckily, at this point in her life, all Molly can say is “Foo-Foo” (the babysitter’s dog), “uh-oh”, "that", and various family member’s names. Although, when she says “poo-poo”, then parenting IS full of sh!t, too!

3 days

3 days 'till H1 and SIL come to NO!!! (No, I'm not excited)!!! It's shaping up to be a great weekend: I'm off on Friday (no babysitter), J graduates/comes home, and M/H come in from Houston; Saturday is immunizations for the girls (not so much fun) and the holiday party (and going out after); Sunday we get a Christmas tree. If memory serves though, finding the tree and decorating it always seems like it would be fun but turns into a chore - getting a tree w/o a huge hole somewhere in the branches, trying to get it into that stupid tree stand and have it stand upright, watering it (either by crawling down on my stomach or having the kids just spill water all over the floor and hope it hits the tree, either way it's a pain in the ass); and decorating it (which involves pulling out all the ornaments while trying to keep the kids away from the antique and/or glass ones). But, once it's done, it's magical...I love to sit in the darkened living room and watch the lights twinkle and smell the pine.

Now, let me address the two Christmas debates - white lights vs. colored (both indoor and out), and real vs. fake trees:

I used to like white lights, until I had kids. Kids definitely prefer multicolor, so now we go with those. When the white lights first made their debut, I thought they were so classy and sophisticated. Now, they're everywhere and boring. I want to see color!!! Make it spectacular - the gaudier the better! Because let me tell you, the kids don't ask you to slow down at the house with the white lights and a deer in the yard. They want you to hurry up to the next block to see the yard that looks like the giant blow-up santa vomited multicolor lights over every inch of that yard!!! (we don't go that overboard b/c honestly it's just a pain in the ass, but I do appreciate the hard work those homeowners put into their display)

And trees: Every year I say I'm going to buy a fake tree after Christmas for the next year (because who wants to pay full price, right?) but then we put up a real tree and it smells sooo good. I mean,there's pine needles all over the place, and it really is a pain in the ass to water it (did I mention that already? I did? Hmmm, must be true then), but something about the real tree appeals to me. Plus, after Christmas they collect them and drop them all into the bayou to help preserve our wetlands. That's good, right? But with a fake tree, you don't have to water it (which is a pain in the ass. Oh, I covered that already? right.) and there's no pine needles everywhere. I guess you can buy "pine in a can" or clean really good with pine-sol during the holiday season, but it's not the same. So, I guess they both have their pros and cons, but I do like a traditional live tree (although Chiamom/pop's tree is very realistic looking and everytime I go over I say I'm gonna get one like that). KenEllie mentioned they were worried that their cat would climb in the tree if it was real. We never had a cat climb in ours (and we've had several....cats and trees), but we did have a cat poo under the tree once (thankfully it was AFTER Christmas!!)

So that's where I stand on those important holiday issues. Dissenting opinions are welcome but wrong.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!

Happy Birthday to a wonderful mom!!! We love you!!!

That's how you get pinkeye!

Well, the craft fair was wonderful! It was better than it had been since The Storm. There was a bunch of new stuff, although not much Christmas stuff, so I didn't buy a new wreath for the door as I had hoped to do. My only complaint was that we had to rush through, because I had to hurry back to NO to take Molly to the doctor at 4:30. Why, you might ask? It appears that she has pinkeye. Maybe we can hire Detective G to figure out who's been farting on Molly's pillow? But here's what gets me - $30 co-pay for the office visit, $50 for the prescription eyedrops. So we get the Rx bag and get home. I don't know what I'm expecting, but when I pull out the eyedrops, the bottle is so tiny. For $50, we get 3 ml of eyedrops. For those of you who don't know how much that is, 5 ml is a teaspoon....yeah, rip-off much? That's ridiculous, because if any of us get it, that's another $50 for 3 ml, because you know that bottle is not going to have any leftovers (not that I advocate using leftover meds for anyone other than the person for whom they were prescribed - yeah, whatever, I've got a family to feed).

Oh, I almost forgot! As we were leaving the craft fair, we passed a group of 4 or 5 women, and I overheard this snippet of conversation "it's like athlete's foot, only on the penis". Hmmm....sometimes they write themselves!!!! Glad I wasn't part of THAT conversation!

So. Let me tell you how awesome my husband is: He took the day off yesterday (he's going out of town tomorrow for the LAST TIME and he'll graduate Friday - yay!) and fixed our toilet (thank you thank you thank you) and put up our Christmas lights outside. It looks awesome!! The lights gave him a bit of trouble, but he got it done, and done well. Then, on our way to dinner, we bought 3 of those spiral lighted trees for the yard (one for each kid). I must confess, I do love Christmas lights!!! I guess because growing up, in some of the houses we lived in (Navy brats tend to live in many houses) my bedroom was at the front of the house, so my folks would put up the Christmas lights in my window to be seen from the street. I loved falling asleep with the soft glow of the Christmas lights twinkling in my room.