Paper Products

J is complaining I'm spending too much time working on my book blog and treating this one like a red-headed stepchild.

With that in mind, today I bring you confessions of another OCD-like trait. This particular affliction, however, I'm certain, affects a large portion of the population (North American population? Western culture? I dunno, take your pick.).

I'm talking about toilet paper. Specifically, over or under? I am an over gal. Always have been. In my house, we have two bathrooms - one is mine, and the family shares the other one. Why, I do not know, but no one likes to use mine. And I'm thankful for that. Probably because it's clean. And when company comes over and asks where the restroom is, the kids say, "Mom's bathroom is on the left and our bathroom is on the right."

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, over or under....I don't think the menfolk in my house care either way. I don't know if it's a male thing or a "people who live in my house thing", but it drives me nuts. It seems like every time I use that bathroom I've got to flip the TP. 'Cause you KNOW I can't let it go.

Big deal, you say? Everyone flips the TP in their own house, right? Well, I flip it in public places too. For example, at Commander's Palace. Yup, fancy-schmancy, 5-star restaurant...the bathrooms are lovely. No really, they are. BUT, I had to do it. The TP was under. I could not let this go unchecked. I flipped it. I couldn't not flip it.

*whispers* I may have, on occasion, flipped the TP at your house.
Sorry.

Not really.

.

Freakshow

WTF?!

BB comes out of her room: "Guess what? I can fart with my back!"

And then proceeds to do it.

What kind of freakshow am I running here?!

Bloody Good!

True Blood is driving me nuts - why can't they show all 12 episodes at once? Why I gotta wait?!! In surfing for my Monday-morning True Blood wean, I found this awesome page - REALLY good video from Comic-Con of what's to come, True Blood is launching a beverage (a blood orange soda?), and a cute TV spot for True Blood (This Blood's for you!). AND, Season 3 is unofficially a go!

Enjoy!

Why I'm Divorcing My Husband One Week Before Our 17th Anniversary...

We're watching Hung tonight, and the main character is a gigalo. His first real client is an older, overweight woman. At first he doesn't want to do it (her, heh heh), but changes his mind because he needs the money. Apparently he makes $600/encounter.

J does the math and says "I could do that. I could have sex with old ladies. It's not like I'm not doing that now. hahaha"

Bastard. I'm leaving you and you're keeping the kids.

Where Did I Go Wrong?

Overheard while we were watching MamaMia!:
Ian: She's pretty hot.
BB: Ew, she's a mom.
Ian: She's not MY mom....

In the car today:
BB: Ozzy Ozbourne talks funny.
J: That's because he did so many drugs when he was younger he's brain damaged now.
BB: Oh, like a cat?

Later in the evening:
Me: I'm so sick of looking at Angelina Jolie.
(heard as an almost whisper by J: "with her clothes on.")
Me: Ass.

Low Rider

I'm sitting in traffic yesterday, and I see this:



A Cadillac Escalade Hearse. That's a pretty nice ride for a dead guy.

.

Will You Still Need Me.....*

You'll be older too, And if you say the word, I could stay with you. *

*When I'm 64, The Beatles

Making a list and checking it twice

Alright, so here's where I give another confession of potentially OCD behavior. I'm wondering if anyone else who lives in "hurricane alley" has this problem. Apparently, I keep a running mental inventory of things to pack when it's time to evacuate. It's not something conscious, but I've caught myself doing it enough times that I realize I'm doing it. Here's an example:

While in Houston over 4th of July weekend, J bought me a set of nesting dolls in Chinatown. As I walked past them yesterday, I thought to myself, "Those are so cute. I'm glad J got them for me, as I child I always thought they were pretty neat.....I hope they'll still be here if there's another hurricane." Which means I put them into the mental "do not pack" list. I doesn't mean that I don't like them, because I do, they just won't be coming with us.

Hurricane Katrina was only the 2nd time we evacuated. I still think it's a little strange that of all the things I could have brought with us, one of the things I did bring was my antique Czech Mardi Gras beads. Did I bring important papers? Yes. Did I bring pictures? No. It was so sudden that we had no real time to prepare and I panicked. I would have changed a lot about the way I handled preparation for that evacuation. If so many people in Orlando wouldn't have been so helpful, I would have been a blubbering mass of incompetence through the whole ordeal.

For Gustav last year, I think I did a bit better, and no matter how prepared you think you are, you don't know what you're going to do until the time comes. Until that time comes again (because I'm sure it will), I'll keep making that list.

16 Candles

Happy 16th Birthday, Ian!!!

Happy Birthday to my favorite gimp! I love you son, I can't believe you're 16 years old today. It seems like just yesterday you were crying and screaming and couldn't get the cheese open...oh, that WAS yesterday but it was your sister. Sorry.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I love you.

Harry Potter Humor

I found this list at Anna's Book Blog, and laughed so hard my sides hurt! It's long but it's good. Enjoy:

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate hat they are "covered in bees".



No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures Class.



Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project" for Herbology.



"I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.



I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".



If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.



Starting a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.



I will not start every potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.



Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".



I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.



I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination Class.



Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine, even if I yell "Pwned!".



I am not a sloth animagus.



Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.



I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square of -1 is.



I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as fun as getting dirty".



There is no such thing as an Invisibility thong.



Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.



42 is not the answer to every question on the OWLs.



It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself soo seriously.



I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord list to suspected Death Eaters.



I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".



I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.



I will not teach the first years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".



I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.



I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a "Big Black Sex Auror".



Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.



I am no the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.



It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.



Gryffindor courage does not come int bottles labeled "Firewhiskey".



First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.



A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.



It is not appropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.



I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions Class.



First-years should no be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.



I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.



When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout "There can be only ONE!"



I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine".



I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.



I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.



There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts. I am not a member of that house nor am I it's founder.



I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".



Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster" not "My Liege".



I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.



Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.



If asked in class what Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!!!" maybe correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.



I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.



Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.



A time turner is not a flux capacitor, and I should therefore not install one in any muggle cars.



I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.



I will not claim my X-Files tapes are Auror Training Videos.



When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce "There are not the droids you are looking for".



I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.



I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.



If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.



I will not under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.



I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paint balling.



I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors In a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive.



I will not give Hagrid Pokemon Cards and convince him that they are real animals.



I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.



I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.



I will not douse Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible when wearing it and standing near the fire in the Common Room.



I will not yell "Believe it.... or not!" after any of Dumbledore's speeches.



Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count as extra credit.



My name is not "The Dark Lord Happy-Pants" and I'm not allowed to sign my papers as such.



There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.



I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.



I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.



Voldemort is not Ganandorf and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.



I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.



I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "Knight of the Round Table for the Christmas Feast.



I will not call Professor McGonagall "McGoogles".



I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.



I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.



I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.



I am not allowed to declare an official Hug a Slytherin Day.



It is not necessary for me to yell "BAMF" every time I Apparate.



I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledor's office and use it to patrol the hallways.



I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.



It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.



I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry's lips to get him to do what I want.



"To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is no an appropriate career choice.



I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.



It is not necessary to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes points from Gryffindor.



I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout "I have the power!"

Get It Out Of My Head!!!!

This has been running through my head. All. Freakin'. Day. The show is cute, but damn.

The Joy Of Kids

Molly and BB in the "pool"

Molly at the apartment in Houston

Pirate Princesses

Ian and Molly in Chinatown.

Sister Act

My SILs are so awesome!!! Here's but a tiny example of why:

SIL(H): Here's a snippet of e-mail I sent to her at work via work e-mail that is sometimes monitored. The IT guy does not know we're related. (Background info - while we were in Houston this weekend, BB ran out of underwear, so SIL generously lent her a pair.)
I brought your underwear to work today and it's in my desk drawer. Do you want me to put it in an envelope and send or wait until I have something else going to Houston?
What do you think the IT guy is gonna make of that?!

SIL(E) sent her hubby to work today with a package for me: Twilight soundtrack on CD, 2 movies I think he's returning(?), and 5 books!!!! I told her I wanted to give Romances a run and she's on top of that! Thank you verrry much!

Props to my brothers for marrying very cool chicks!

I'm Gonna Be Rich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were watching Deadliest Catch tonight, and I came up with a brilliant idea! It can't fail:

A reality show...not sure of all the specifics yet.....involving a john (or more) and a couple of hard-core hookers. Maybe some challenges about passing a VD test, knowledge of prophylactics, a "talent" competition (not THAT talent, I meant along the lines of bendability or proficiency with fruits!), perhaps assembling an outfit or trying to fit in at a debutante ball? Maybe street hookers vs. high-priced call girls?

Anyhoo...the title of this show? "Deadliest Snatch" Get it? eh? eh? .....*crickets*...oh, come on - you know it's funny.......

Hot Time in the City

Well, weeeee'rrree baaaaaccccckkkkk!!! Houston survived us...barely. We drove in Friday and went straight to meet H1 and SIL and Ian at Papa Joe's BBQ - yummers! Then we headed over to the room to unpack then went swimming. Saturday we went to St. Arnold's Brewery for a pub tour, then I took the kids swimming while the other adults slept off some of the beer! Sunday was a trip to Chinatown (lunch and shopping), naps, and Barry's pizza. Then the gang went to Dave & Busters and Molly and I headed back to the room for the night (of course we stopped at Barnes and Noble before they closed!). Then today, we got up, reverse packed, and headed back to the NOLA. A good visit but much too quick.

I have to say, Molly nearly did me in this trip. I could call this the "Fuss and Cry Trip" and anyone present would immediately know what trip I was talking about. I love that child but sometimes she sure makes it hard! It didn't help that the room didn't have A/C, so we were all cranky anyway. Heat and cranky two-year-olds do not mix, my friends, not at all. Can't wait to do it again at New Years!!!

And thank you, SIL, for the awesome gift - a much cheaper way to hide the covers than a kindle!!! You rock!

Happy 40th Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Happy 40th Anniversary! I'm so glad you found each other!

Love You!!!!

Houston Bound

Well, in a matter of minutes we will be out the door - destination: Houston. I've missed Ian this last week and am excited to see him as well as get out of the NOLA for a quick weekend. We'll be back on Monday. Last night while packing and trying to do last-minute laundry and dishes our power went out for almost two hours! I gave the girls their bath by candlelight - it was kind of nice. But J had a mini-generator so we were able to have one light in the living room and a fan.

Last night during her bath, BB asks, "What's the difference between thunder and lightening?" I explained. Then, "when did they invent electricity?" I explained it was discovered (for the purposes of discussion with an 8-year-old) in the 18oo's. "Oh, so Daddy lived without electricity?" BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha!!!! "....and you too?" Ouch.

Whoa!

I feel like a rock star! Over at my other blog, I got a comment from one of my favorite authors!!! After I was done screaming like a little girl and got up off the floor, I stopped to think about it. I know these authors have a lot going on, especially when they have a new book coming out. The fact that she took the time to comment on my blog is very flattering. (Of course, I am a HUGE fangirl of her books!) So, I wish her much success and urge you to buy and read her books!

Happy Anniversary Kenny & Ellie

Happy Anniversary to two cute kids!