You wish you were as lucky as I am

You know I have bathroom issues - one of which is I won't poo in a public restroom unless it's a dire emergency, including my office.

But, you probably don't know...it's because I have my own cheering squad at home. I cannot go to the bathroom without Molly finding me - even when I try to sneak off alone, she finds me. Then, she cheers me on "Poo Poo!!! Poo Poo!!! Mommy Poo Poo!!!" until I'm done. Then, to make me feel even more special - she has to flush for me. Yeah,that's right - I am so special I don't have to flush the toilet.

Get in line, haters.

Bliss

What an awesome weekend!!! The weather was beautiful, the birds were singing (no, really - they were!), everything was wonderful! J started off Friday with crawfish etoufee - it was the best! Totally yummy!

Saturday, BB had her 1st Communion retreat, so I did some spring cleaning, then picked her up and headed over to the children's clothing consignment store to drop off Molly's clothes from last summer and look over what I want for this summer. J and Ian worked for hours on the yard -it looks really good. I wish I was there now - sitting under the canopy admiring the pond....not at work.....Sunday J did more yard work and I helped a little bit. Mostly mulching, which of course has my sinuses dancing today....yuck. But, the pond really does look great.

J took Ian out to practice driving Saturday - he did pretty well - no dents or scratches on the kid or the car. I guess it's time to look at getting his permit.

Saturday we also picked up (drumroll please)........the Twilight movie. H2 came over and watched it with me and BB, then I watched it with J and the kids. Don't laugh, it's the little things in life that make me happy. Well, that and purses.

Irish Whiskey

Happy St. Paddy's Day! Here's my annual St. Patrick's Day Joke (the only one I know - after all these years it still makes me laugh!):

What to you call the furniture in a leprechaun's back yard?

Paddy O'Furniture!!!

Okay - something weird happened today: I was sitting in the backyard with Molly, and she looked at my bracelet (which I put on this morning for the first time in awhile) and said "Grandma Smith's bracelet?" clear as a bell....yeah - gave me chills up and down my spine! Weird, huh? Very.

I spy with my little eye.....

Well, BB earned two Brownie badges today. We went to Wal-Mart and stood outside hawking cookies for 3 hours today. She had a great time and I liked the other girl and her mother so it was not nearly as painful as it could have been. Chiamom came by, J came by, and H2 came by and all bought cookies. Thanks guys!

We watched Role Models tonight - the unrated version. Hysterically funny, I must say. There's one scene where the guy is on the phone leaving a message for his ex-girlfriend about how much he misses her, and the kid keeps telling him to say he misses her "whispering eye", so he says it right before hanging up. The kid starts laughing hysterically and says that's code for vagina. Well, we're all laughing hysterically, and I look over at BB and say "You are NOT allowed to repeat that phrase", to which she replies, "I know......But I do have one." Hahaha - we laughed so hard J had to pause the movie.

See why we keep her?

I'm the Michael Phelps of tricycle riding*

*said by Ian about his tricycle riding skillz

So we're at dinner tonight talking about various blogs, and Ian mentions that J teases me when I go too long between posts. J says, "I can relate to everything your mom blogs about" so I reply, "Well, in that case, my next post is about menstruation." Then Ian asks "Why do girls tell you when they're on their period?", which leads to a lengthy discussion, and ends with him asking "How long does a period last? a week? 3 days?" To which I answer, "5 days." And Ian says...........wait for it..............."Are you sure?"

Happy Birthday Kenny!!

Garo arad-o-onnad 'elir!

which is elvish for: Have a happy birthday!

(yes I looked it up - see what I do for you?) I ordered you a wonderful gift - it's not in yet. If it's right, you get it. If it's wrong - you get nothing! Well, you'll get my love - isn't that a wonderful consolation prize? You'd better say yes. Love you!

Green-eyed Monster

I am having library envy. SIL(H) has been able to check out some of the books I've recommended at the Houston library. Most of the books I've either had to read on the internet (um, legally, yeah sure) or buy. Don't get me wrong. If I REALLY like the book, after I read it I will buy it. But, damn, I'd like to be able to read it in book form instead of straining my eyes staring at the computer and sorting through the typos. Our library sucked before the hurricane, now it blows, too. I know there are more important things the city needs to spend money on (like paying for the mayor to eat lunch with his wife), but it's this sort of "quality of life" issue that makes me crazy (crazier?)!

Hey SIL(H) - I noticed your library has my newest obsession on AUDIOBOOK!!!!!! We're talking pine-forest green here, not easter-egg pastels!!!

Take it like a man

Well, after such a shitty Friday, the weekend has been great so far! Crawfish, barbeque shrimp, grilled oysters....got to go to 2 birthday parties with BB - without Molly! Spent a fun night with the in-laws and H2 and GF, then DtM and DD came over as I was going to bed - J had a LATE night (or should I say early morning?) Lots of tequila, lots of beer....life is good.

I think Ian had a good weekend too - yesterday he went out shooting at the range, then came home and shucked oysters. After he was done, we gave him a beer and a shot - I know, right? But, I figured, he's home, he worked like a man, and maybe doing that every now and then (rare now and then) will take away some of the mystique......yyeeeaaahhhhhh. Sounded good at the time!

Make me happy.

I had a really, really bad afternoon. Not like "somebody died" bad, but just "why do I bother" bad. I am currently eyeing the bottle of tequila and plan to drink it all tonight. AND, in the middle of all the shit that went down at work, I dumped my full cup of diet coke and ice into my open desk drawer. Yeah, like I said, it was a great day.

Anyhoo, I did have one bright spot - I stumbled upon this. I laughed until I cried - really. I know it's probably not THAT funny, but I really needed it. I've perused the site and it cracks me up - nothing sexual (although under the sidebar favorites is a funny "first cake we had to censor") so it's good, clean fun. Enjoy!

Rich with Laughter

Okay, I know I've been gone awhile...don't lie, you know you missed me!! Mardi Gras was good. I couldn't seem to get into it this year, but I'm usually so deep into it that I'm entitled to an off year. We only went out twice, caught 7 parades - pfft! That's nothing usually! But next year we'll be out of diapers (hopefully) and back in the game!!

H1 and SIL came for Mardi Gras - had a great time. H1 might beg to differ, as Molly cold-cocked him - yeah- there. She was throwing leaves at him and her little fist is just the right height. Sorry, bro. WTF? Ian bites him, Molly punches him - I guess BB is his favorite now! haha!

The other night, we were sitting around the house, and I commented on the smell of fire outside. Someone must be using their fireplace, right? Uh, no - J looks outside our window and sees our plants are on fire - his cigarette caught dry pinestraw. And what does he do - get the hose? No, he runs to the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of water to put it out. We're so rich, we use bottled water to put out our fires! J - you're awesome - that's why I love you!!!

Overheard recently:

J - OMG BB! Did you fart?
BB - Excuse me a minute, I've got to go check my underwear.

At McDonalds by the girl behind the counter: "I've only got one good baby-daddy, the rest aren't worth a shit." Honestly, you can't make this stuff up.