Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap

Oh. My. God. I have eaten more fat and calories in the last two days than I have in the last month. McDonald's, Pizza, Hagen Daas, Panera. I'm going to explode. Stress food is soooooo yummy!

Deja Vu

We're safely in Orlando, hoping to turn around and come home Wednesday. Hope. Hope. Hope.

J is alternating between home and work, hopefully stays safe. Hope. Hope. Hope.

Maggie & Co. are keeping us all entertained - I cannot thank them enough. J suggested taking the kids to Universal Studios on Tues, so I might. Plus, it will keep my mind off of the news.

The wait is killing me. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for something to happen (or not happen as I'm hoping). Ugh.

Geritol, Paxil, or a Gun?

I don’t know why, but I’ve been thinking about aging a lot lately. You know my latest obsession (and that’s exactly what it is at this point) is the Twilight Series. I linked to the movie trailer. The star is pretty good-looking….and 16 years younger than I am. Which made my head hurt. Because it hit me – I’m almost 40.

How the fuck did that happen? I’ve been sliding along in my 20’s and early 30’s, and NOW I’M ALMOST 40??! I don’t understand where the time went. So I started looking a bit closer at clues that should have tipped me off:

1. I have a 15-year-old son. I was not a teenage mother.
2. WHAT?!! Wait – 15 years old? Where did the time go? He’s supposed to be, like, 8, right? When did he grow up?
3. I’ve been married for 16 years. And I was not a child bride. But it doesn’t FEEL like 16 years have gone by. It doesn’t even feel like 10 years have gone by. How can I still be this much in love after 16 years of marriage? That couldn’t be right, could it?
4. Our 20th High School reunion was last summer. I REALLY didn’t want to go, so Jerrod was gracious enough to humor me, even though he wanted to go. But how could it have been our 20th reunion? Our 10th reunion was just a few short years ago, and even that sounds like too many years gone by. Hmmm…that can’t be right.
5. I color my hair, not because I don’t like the color but because I’m covering the gray.

But I still don’t get it….I’m young! I have a 1-year-old baby! I have a tattoo! I listen to today’s music! How the fuck did I get old? There must be a mistake. I don’t wear a lot of the latest fashions, but that’s because I’m fat. And I’ve been working on that lately. Successfully, I might add.

Then another lightbulb flashed over my head. Have I been spending so much time obsessing about my weight that I’ve completely the fact that I’m getting older? Oh. My. God.

I’m so frustrated. I’m finally starting to feel good about my weight (better anyway), and now I feel like even if I do get my weight where I want it, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m almost Methuselah Junior.

I feel like I can’t win. Part of this is why I’ve been cranky for the last few days. You know, annoyed. I feel like a permanent frown. Even Ian asked about it. Huh.

I don’t have an end to this post. I’m still cranky and I still feel like I’m a million years old. It’s not like I can go on an age diet. I can take all the happy pills I want and I might not be irritated as much but I’ll still be old. What’s a girl (girl, snort! Yeah, right.) to do?

Just shut the hell up. Right now.

Seriously. If I hear one more person say the words "hurricane", "evacuate" (heh, heh, I said evacuate), "weather channel", or "Gustav", I swear I'm gonna jump out the window.

Denial is gorgeous. You should come visit me here sometime. I don't want to think about it. J told me they've got to evacuate his "clients" tomorrow, so I won't be seeing him for a while.

I'm ready to cry. I don't want to think about what to pack, what to leave, the kittens, THE DRIVE. We're going to leave early Saturday morning and have a pleasant weekend in Orlando.

That's it. End of story.

waiting for the ding.....

J keeps teasing me about not blogging in a while, and I keep telling him I’ve “got one on the burner”. And I do. It’s just not ready yet. So, click my links and let those occupy you for a while. I’ll be back – that’s a threat and a promise!

Wow.

All I can say is, "Wow." What a ride - 4 books in 7 days. I am totally a fan. These books got into my head and wouldn't leave. Loved the characters, now I really can't wait for the movie. Does it make me a nerd that I want to order a T-shirt?

Man Sandwiches

Yeah, you read that right - "Man Sandwiches". Jerrod made manwiches for dinner last night, and BB said "Oh, I love man sandwiches!" Oh man, I love that girl!!

Some of you who are in the know already know that they moved the date of my beloved Harry Potter's next movie from November 21, 2008 to July 17, 2009. I must say that at first, I was heartbroken. That's 8 whole months!!! BUT.........



I have a new obsession: The Twilight Series. I've only read the first book but I'm hooked. I've asked J to read it to give me a male point of view, as the story is told by a 17-year-old girl. I'm very curious to hear what he thinks. I am totally hooked! Anyhoo, how does this tie in with HP, you ask? Well, they made a movie about the first book, that was due in theatres December 12, however, since HP ducked out they're putting it in there. Sooooo, Chiamom, if you're still available I still need a babysitter!!! Let me see if I can link to the movie trailer (there are 2)...yup, here they are, enjoy!

Sleepless? Who me?

(yawn.) Molly is sick. She came home from the babysitter with a runny nose. Okay, no problem there, right? Before bed I gave her a bath and some cold med the Dr. had given us last time she was sick, and "sucked" her nose. I head into the bed at 10:20 and hear her snoring. Fast-forward to 11:15 and she's coughing and wheezing and crying all at the same time. Damn it! Out comes the nebulizer and she gets a treatment. Then we lay on the couch, sort of. The steroids make her very active. So now she doesn't feel good but she doesn't want to be held. Around 3 am I put her in her bed (awake) and headed towards mine. She seems better this morning but I gave her another treatment just in case.

Instead of heading in to work I went to the funeral service for the father of a co-worker. I'm embarassed to say (but you know I'm gonna say it anyway) that I managed to maneuver myself around the room to where I never actually had a view of the body. Someone was always in between. Once I caught a glimpse of a hand, readjusted my position, and all was well. Childish? Yes, but that's how I roll.

Now, I'm at the office, my boss just threw a shitload of stuff at me, of which I know nothing, because both of the attorneys are out and I'm gonna have to cover. What? I'm not even a paralegal, I'm just a legal assistant! Cover for the attorneys?! Holy Crap!

CAT NEWS: I think we're going to change their names to Jake and Elwood. No one but me can remember their names. And this morning BB told me "They're stupid names, Mom." Well said, BB, well said. I think we've pretty much gotten the one (formerly known as Col. Brandon, not sure what he's presently known as) who sleeps in the litter box to stop, for the most part. And I have to give my hunny a shout out - he's really been so good with them, bathing them and doing litter box stuff and giving them treats - Love you baby!!!

SCHOOL NEWS: Ian's first day is tomorrow. Poor Ian, the good times are over. I can't believe he's a sophmore - wow, time sure does fly. BB starts Tuesday. H2 has generously offered to hang out with her tomorrow while Ian is at school - thanks H2!! We took out a 2nd mortgage to finance uniforms, school supplies, and book fees (well, it felt like we did), but I'm sure the children are very appreciative. (snort, laugh). I am so excited that BB will receive the sacraments of Reconciliation and First Communion this year!

And now....

Mr. Darcy:

and,

Colonel Brandon:

Mr. Darcy is adventerous and likes to climb and explore. Col. Brandon sticks more to his bed area. He also likes to sleep in the litter box.

Because sometimes you just need a chuckle.

Google Maps/Views: I caught this link today and these pics are too funny! Be sure to click the links, some of the pics are hysterical!

Kitten and Caboodle - UPDATE

It looks like we'll be getting kittens this weekend. I'm kind of excited. They're really cute little guys.

We're still trying to come up with names, Jerrod likes "Jake and Elwood" of Blues Brother's fame, but I was hit with inspiration:

Mr. Darcy and Colonel Brandon

Are those not the cutest names for cats? I love the fact that the names are Jane Austen characters AND not very "pet-like" (such as fluffy or spot). We had dogs named Sigmund Freud and Claude Monet, why not name our cats after two awesome characters by one of the world's greatest authors?

*UPDATE: How about Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley? They were best friends in Pride and Prejudice. Perfect!!!

I'm not my Grandma...

Thank God I'm living in the 21st century!!! I think I'm doing okay as a 2000's wife! Check out some of the stuff they judge you by...I wanna see your scores!

15 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

Well, you know, sometimes you just get caught up with life in general...

Friday when I came home from work there was a gorgeous bouquet of red roses and white lillies on the dining room table. (not these exactly but pretty close) Jerrod - they're beautiful! After dinner we went to the movies and saw The Mummy III (corny but good). It was nice to get out without the kids.

Saturday Ian and J went to see the latest Batman movie. I (surprisingly) had a nice time with BB and Molly at Target buying school supplies. Yes, school starts in less than two weeks!

Sunday we did nothing during the day but had Mom/Dad and H2/GF over for dinner. Molly was thrilled to see them all! At one point, the adults were sitting in the dining room having coffee, and the kids were elsewhere. I hear a bump, bump, thud, and the next thing I know H2 is laughing so hard he spit out his coffee!!! Apparently Molly was coming to see him and she walked into a wall. And H2 laughed at her. Poor baby. (okay, it was pretty funny) Later in the evening when she had her pajamas on, she brought H2 her new shoes and a pair of socks because she wanted him to put them on her. Picture this: Molly wearing blue and green "Buzz Lightyear" pajamas (for boys b/c they don't make them for girls), knee-high purple socks, and pink princess sneakers that light up when she walks. She was soooo cute!!!

Oh, and J and I started "the diet" (I mean, lifestyle change) again. I'm feeling pretty good about it. I've been wanting to get back on it for a few weeks so I think my head's in the right place. The few pounds I put back on really make a difference, so I'm anxious to lose them again plus more. Here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (don't ask why there's no space between paragraphs, apparently Blogger's got an axe to grind. WTF?)

Sweet 16 and never been.......*

*oh...that's not gonna work.


I'm so glad I found you, sitting on that muddy cardboard, drunk, at a parade. It must have been fate, because even though I avoided you like the plague we are still together today! Thank you for my wonderful life and my beautiful children.


Happy 16th Anniversary to the love of my life, my babydaddy, my best friend. Here's to 16 more, and 16 more after that!!! After that I guess we could get divorced, if you're not hooked up to a lung machine and I'm not too senile to realize that we're still married...

I love you!!!!