I smell a smell, a smelly smell, a smell that smells smelly...*

J watched a really bizarre movie a few weeks ago, Perfume. I didn’t really watch it, only pieces parts, so the gist that I got was that this guy was trying to figure out a way to pull a persons “essence” (I guess this would be their personal scent) from their body. Once he figured out how to do it, he would make it into liquid form and add it to his perfumes (which were huge sellers). So I thought to myself, my scent would probably smell like fry grease and sugar. I know, strange combo, but I love food that is bad for me.

My question to you is, what would your scent be?

*Spongebob Squarepants

Props to the Pops!!!

Now that my home internet has been up and working for a few days, I feel I can safely say "It works! Thanks Dad (and Jerrod, who was a terrific assistant)!!" It really sucked to not be able to get online at home, so this is a very, very good fix for my internet jones. You guys are awesome!!!

On a side note, here's BB's Quote of the Day:
Last night she's telling me the story of Adam and Eve, and says, "If you see a snake that is red and it talks to you, that's the devil." Hmmm, what gave it away - possibly the ability to talk?!! She was so sincere, it was very sweet.

This drink is great, could I have some of that BBQ?

I came across this this morning. Hahahaha!!! It's typical New Orleans for two reasons:

1. It's a bar.
2. It's a Saints game.

Now, even though the Saints are off to a really, really, really shitty start, that's no reason to get up and leave the game, besides, they paid for those drinks and damn right they're going to finish them!

Sometimes my boat doesn't quite make the dock...

I'm in the drop-off line at school this morning, and a car pulls out of the parking space on the side - leaving after Mass. I notice there is a vanity plate on the car "RETYRD". OMG!!! I sat there so upset - how could a CHURCH-GOING, CHRISTIAN PERSON be driving around with such a horrible licence plate? How could this plate have passed the sensors? I know we live in a "Jackass" nation, but putting retard on your licence plate is taking it a bit too far - I would even call it offensive. I sat there getting all worked up, then realized it is supposed to say "retired". DOH!!!

Happy 1st Birthday Molly!!!

I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday, busy, busy, busy!!! I can't believe she's one already!!! It seems like we just brought her home last week. Wow.

She's had a little cold, but since Friday has been much better, just a runny nose left. We ordered a cake from Walmart (Hello Kitty) and when we went to pick it up, the bakery lady said we get a free "mini cake" b/c it's her first birthday! So, we had one sheet cake, one tiny cake, and one Chantilly Berry cake - that's right, all you haters- a Chantilly Berry cake!!! We gave her the little cake, as is the custom here, and she devoured it (thank God I got a sugar free cake). Wait until you see the pics - she looks like a kabuki (sp?) warrior with spiky blonde hair!!! (Maybe this would be a good time for Chiapop's photo/blog tutorial) All I can say is, how many of you have had a party so wild you had to stop and take a bath in the middle of it? Yes, she is a party animal!!!

All in all, a fine time was had by all.

BB's Quote of the Day

Today was horrendous. Stuff went wrong today that I never would have believe could have gone wrong. So we went out and had a nice dinner with Chiamomandpop. On the way home, BB says to me, "I learned a new word today." So I'm thinking "wow, I love this new school!" and I ask her what the word is. Here is her answer:

"You know that thing that keeps your boobs apart?" ("Your bra?" I ask. "Your sternum?") "No, your chest" she says. "Well, if you push your boobs together into your chest, you know that line you get between them? It's called a boob crack. Really."

How do you reply to that?

I ain't scurred...well, maybe a little bit...

Anyone who knows me well knows I have crazy dreams. Could be about anything - the possibilities are endless. My favorite dreams involve flying (sadly, I can't remember the last time I had a flying dream). Basically, I take a deep breath and float upwards, taking more deep breaths to stay up. My arms are out to the sides to guide me, and if I want to go lower I exhale a bit. I know it sounds silly, but it's really great. Some of my best dreams are from when I was a kid. Once, I dreamed that I woke up and there were several pairs of earrings under my pillow. (I don't remember if I wanted my ears pierced or had just had them pierced) Once when I was about 12 I dreamed that I woke up and had big boobs - I was excited b/c I had boobs, but upset b/c I didn't have anything to wear!! (I told you sometimes they're weird). I've dreamed that I died, which I hear is impossible but I've done it 3 times that I can remember. As an adult, I sometimes dream about meeting famous people, but I dream about work ALOT. That kinds sucks. But the weirdest dreams I have are kinda scary at the time - even when I wake up if it's in the middle of the night. Sometimes I dream that I'm looking in the mirror and my mirror image is not doing what I'm doing. It's very creepy. Creepy enough to wake me up in the middle of the night. Kinda like - did you play "Bloody Mary" when you were a kid? You know, you go into the bathroom and turn off the light, shut your eyes, and turn around 3 times saying "Bloody Mary" then look in the mirror and supposedly she's there. I guess that game creeped me out enough when I was a kid that there's some kind of residual "what if" in my warped brain.

Okay, enough creepy. This next bit is not for the easily offended: This is what they're coming up with instead of a cure for cancer? I don't know where to begin - it has to be a joke. Let me just say the ladies' version would have to smell like $100 dollar bills or jewelry or something, because the smell of locker room jock is not gonna do it for very many ladies.

I got a new map in my office. For those of you who haven't seen my office, I have a rather large (probably 5 feet across) map of the Gulf of Mexico and parts of the GulfSouth on my wall. The old map was from 2001, so I went to the MMS and got a new one. I guess because the colors on this one are more vivid I immediately see N.O., Houston, and Orlando, and think about how near we are to each other and how far. I look at the map and wonder what you guys are doing right then. It sounds sad, but it's kind of nice - I feel like I'm looking at where you are. So, if you feel like someone's watching you, I probably am!!! (Sorry to my Yankee readers, we only deal with the Gulf of Mexico area, so if I want a map of the US (many US Americans don't have maps haha, I shouldn't laugh at that poor girl) I'll have to go out and buy one so I can spy on you too.

Have a great weekend!

Just keep the margaritas coming and it will all be fine...

So much to post, so little time to devote to posting! There have been several things I've wanted to post about but work has been so busy and our internet is still down at home.

Ian went to the Brother Martin/Shaw game Friday night. When he got home, I peppered him with questions, "Who won? Did you have fun? Did your friends show up? Did you see your friends from your old school?" He drifted past me with a smile on his face and said "I got hugs." I guess one of his friends from school brought some girls he is friends with. Oh, he's growing up!!

I think I'm going to institute a new feature: BB's Quote of the Day. Mom always said four is her favorite age. With BB, six is pretty damn cute! The only problem with this new feature is that I'm going to have to write this stuff down! Saturday morning was girls' day, so we're all in the car going shopping, and I'm telling her about the on again/off again relationship with the neighbor/classmate. I told mom, "There's so much drama in first grade", to which I hear BB sigh from the back seat, "Tell me about it."

I came across this article at Slate magazine on MSN.com. No, not the first letter about the guy with the long, uh, aim? The second article about the slumber party. Absolutely ridiculous!! As much as people are bemoaning the loss of the "family unit", now they want to penalize this poor girl because she has a nice, normal family? The articles linked to it are good too - basically how men are penalized just for being men. I don't even know where to begin. I recently read a really good book, The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood, and it has a pretty scary premise. I can't even begin to delve into my theories on this, the way I see article and the book as related-I'm going to have to save that for another post, one where I have a little time to go into it. Basically, it has to do with that theorem about society heading so far in one direction that nature will eventually force it to swing back to its polar/extreme opposite. As an aside, I think every politician, liberal or conservative, should be forced to read this book!

Well, I have much more to go on about, but time is out!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH!!!

Happy Birthday SIL(H)!!! BB says you're 26, so enjoy your 20's while they last (in your case, QUITE a long time)!!! Make H1 and H2 both do something nice for you, you deserve it!!! Miss you (and H1), hope your day is spectacular.

They say it comes in threes...

Our computer is dead, our modem is dead (I hope to God that counts as two separate incidents and not one general "computer problem") and Friday on my way home from work my car died. (Luckily after two hours of sweat and effort Jerrod was able to install a new battery and all is well.) Hopefully our turn is over.

Who are those men in white coats, and why are they pointing at me?

This is the kind of post I probably shouldn't be sharing...but, here's my question: Is this religious paranoia or just plain old insanity?

I think you all know about the "haunted house" next door to Chiamom/pop. The one where two people killed themselves? Yeah, that one. Wednesday, Kenny was kind enough to come over and get our broken hard drive so he could look at it (thanks bro!) and mentioned that he had been speaking to the current occupants (owners?) of the haunted house. They said it's really haunted - stuff moving from one side of the hallway to another, things crashing down on them, etc. It sounded pretty spooky to me. Anyhoo, that night as I was lying in bed (alone - J is out of town for the week. Stay with me, people!) I was thinking about it and decided I should say a Hail Mary for their souls, which I did. Then, I thought to myself, "what if they don't want me to say any prayers for them? They were pretty weird and I think they were against religion. Oh crap! What if they know I was saying prayers for them and they float over here to terrorize me as retribution? Aaaahhhh!!"

Needless to say I slept with quite a few lights on that night.

Thoughts to ponder...

Got these from "Men's Health" magazine (don't ask)...

1. Asking questions is how you figure things out. Lots and lots of questions.
Got that one!!!

2. Real guys don't dip their toes in the water. They jump right in.

3. Girls (or Guys) have cooties. Well, the ones you meet in certain bars do, anyway.

4. You hated it when a grown-up told you, "We'll see." It's still unacceptable. Don't say it yourself. I've got to remind myself of this one now and then.

5. Your body was designed for throwing baseballs, shooting hoops, and jumping off diving boards and stuff. In the secret language of children, the word "fitness" doesn't exist. It's called "having fun." Hard to do in this day of constant surveillance.

6. Your world can be half-real and half-imaginary.

7. Homework blows. Bring work home with you and it'll ruin your night. And your marriage. And your family. And your life.

8. Too much of anything will give you a tummy ache. Like, say, bourbon.

9. If there's even the slightest doubt, hit the potty before you leave. Oh so true!!!

10. The coolest adults were the ones who took the time to listen to you. You still want to grow up to be a cool adult, right? Note to self...

11. Treasure Island, Dracula: The best books are consumed after dark with a flashlight.

12. Use adrenaline as your drug of choice. You don't need beer, pot, or cigarettes to have a good time.

13. Kissing a girl on the cheek is a big deal. Kissing her lips is an even bigger deal. Seeing her naked for the first time is a major, life-altering event. Guys- is this true?

21. Going after a target in the urinal makes the time whiz by. Not fair!!!

22. Seeing a thunderstorm roll in is better than watching HDTV. And rain isn't something to curse, but to enjoy. Hurry up, before it clears. One of my favorite things to do, too bad I never seem to have time to enjoy them.

Quick Funny

We were watching some VH1 Child-Stars show, and the guy who played Greg Brady from the Brady Bunch was talking about how he was attracted to the Marsha actress. They showed a picture of her and he said "Yeah, I was attracted to her from the get-go". BB looked at me and said, "She's from the ghetto?"

If you're feeling suicidal, you probably shouldn't read this...

Damn! Things have been crazy - new parent seminars, overtime, regular household/family stuff. No time to take a breather yet - J's out of town again until Friday. I was filing away old bills and stuff last night and ended up with a facefull of dust, so today I feel like crap. If I could spend the day in bed with a fistfull of tissues that would be heaven, however, I am not in bed, so I am in hell. And, if I have to be miserable, so do you - prepare to wallow in misery with me:

Lately, I've been thinking about the people I surround myself with. I haven't had a best friend (or, BFF haha!) since before the hurricane. It's hard not to have someone to confide in and just goof off with or go out to see a show. I don't know why I haven't been able to find another friend, I guess I just don't have time? I've never been one to have loads of friends, I like to have a small group of close friends rather than a large group of casual friends. But, since Laurie moved away and Dawn lost her mind I just haven't had another friend, and it's bothering me. I really miss that female comraderie and "girls night" or just calling to hang out or bitch about our spouses (J - I NEVER bitch about you, honey).

Let me stop here and say I have two lovely, wonderful SILs who I LOVE to spend time with, but they are married to my brothers, not to me. And they have their own friends. And yes, J is my best friend, but he's not a chick (thank God!) so it's different. But even at school meetings, dance class, or whatever, I just can't seem to meet anyone (that sounds like I'm trolling for a date - ugh!). You'd think I'd be friends with my neighbor, as she has a daughter in BB's class and she seems to be very nice but a friendship just hasn't blossomed.

I don't know what it is. I know I don't have an outgoing personality, but this is getting ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life, a family who loves me, a comfortable home and a great job. But what I am missing is important too. Think about your best friend (or, in some cases, friends). Okay, now imagine life without that person(s). It sucks, and honestly, it's lonely.

When was in 9th grade, I used to sit in Civics and bitch to my friend Cynthia that I'd never had and would never get a boyfriend (she was quite promiscuous - looking back maybe not the best person to compare my dating history against). She'd laugh and tell me of course I would, I just have to be patient. Then I met J. and look at how wonderful he is. So, I know I just have to be patient and another friendship will blossom, but it's hard not to be frustrated.

Well, if you haven't jumped out a window, thrown yourself under a moving car or slit your wrists yet, thanks for sticking with me. I'm not asking for a bunch of comments about what a good person I am - I know I'm a good person and a good friend. I'm just writing about what's on my mind, venting, if you will. I know this will pass, and if it doesn't, then I'll deal with it.