Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Cougar Hierarchy, The Building Blocks of Sandwich Making, and Don’t Look At My Kids While I’m Busy Judging Yours

So I’m hanging out with the family the other night, and one of the kid calls me old…

Hubs: Your mom’s not old, she’s a cougar.
Kids: Cougars are old.
Hubs: No they’re not – it goes like this: Feral Cat, Puma, Cougar, Lioness. Your mom’s not a lioness yet – then she’ll be old.
Me: Thanks honey… I think.

So, I think it goes like this:

Feral Cat: Megan Fox
Puma: Kate Hudson
Cougar: Demi Moore
Lioness: Sharon Stone

On to the sandwich talk:

Talking to SIL(H) the other day, and I mention I don’t eat sliced bread. She tells me H1 doesn’t either. I tell her I don’t eat Peanut Butter; H1 doesn’t either. Or Jelly. Then it really gets weird – she’s telling me how he had to bring his lunch while he was on crutches b/c it took him too long to get to the cafeteria, so she’d make his lunch. Me: “I hope you didn’t make it the night before.” She starts laughing – H1 says don’t make it the night before, no condiments until you’re ready to eat it, and no cheese, it makes the bread soft.

I need to know what happened in our childhood that we have the same sandwich hang-ups. Were we punished with old lunches?

Oh, and speaking of Michael and Hannah – I came up with a cute name for them…not Hannael, Not Michannah, they’re the Titanium Twosome!!! Her arm and his hip – get it? Aaahhh – I crack myself up!

Okay, and lastly, I’ll leave you with a snapshot of my stellar parenting skillz:

In the Chinese restaurant yesterday, the 10yo and the 4yo are singing “F You”…’cause that’s really what you want coming out of your children’s mouths. Then, on the ride home, they’re singing (and dancing) to Jane Fonda (by Mickey Avalon)… and I wonder why Molly has such awesome pole-dancing skills!!!


ParaJunkee said...

I guess I'm a puma??? And don't feel bad about kidlets, mine is obsessed with that sun cola commercial and now she sings drop it like it's hot all the time.

Patti (Book Addict) said...

Lol, if you're in your 30's then yes,you're a Puma :) I love your daughter - that's my favorite commercial! Does she do the dance?

Hannah said...

I DO THE DANCE! At the office even.

Louisiana Rose said...

I never, never made you guys sandwiches the night before. I guess I taught you well! (Guess it was actually MY hangup I passed along.)

As for the Peanut Butter, you used to ask to bring PB because the little Phillipino girl at school liked PB and she would trade you for Saipaos!! (Yum) Bet you would still take a Saipao over a sandwich any day!

Mikey ate pretty much anything and he LIVED on Cream of Wheat through high school when he got home. He also would finish off the left over chicken...unfortunately I was going to make it into chicken al la king or something, but alas was gone!

Hannah said...

Cream of Wheat? Ewhh!

Deacon Dean said...

typing on a tablet test.