I'm not cheap, I'm fiscally thrifty

Two ladies were talking on the parking shuttle today about how they seem to be going to a lot of funerals lately and how expensive they are. Which got me to thinking:

Dear Family,

When it's my time to visit The Great Bookstore In The Sky, and you're planning my funeral - go with the cheap stuff. Seriously, bottom of the barrel - only get what you're required by law to buy. If I don't have the memory foam mattress while I'm alive, I certainly don't need it now that I'm dead.

Thanks,

Patti

P.S. Just a reminder: If Amazing Grace is played or sung at my funeral, I will come back and haunt your ass. Just sayin'.