Happy Birthday BB!!

I can't believe she's ALREADY 8, but sometimes I can't believe she's ONLY 8. Happy Birthday Princess! It's going by too quickly. I love you.

Trash Talk

Here’s a subject you may notice I feel kind of strongly about…littering. It really pisses me off to see someone throw trash. I think it goes back to that “I’m special/My needs are more important than yours” mentality. It’s low-class. I really think a trashy area paves the way for other stuff like hopelessness, lack of civility, and crime.

I noticed a guy throwing trash out of his car this morning. Except for the fact that he looked like he’d pull a gun on me, I wanted to pull up and yell at him. Then I thought to myself “yeah, self, rolling down the window and calling him a litterbug is really gonna insult him.” So then I started thinking, we need something stronger than “litterbug”. My first thought was “litterf*ck” but I don’t really think that gets the point across. How about “Mother f*cking, trash throwing, son of a b*tch” That might do it. (Although, all that cursing might be construed as low-class and a lack of civility, but would this be an instance of fighting fire with fire? Or “speaking in a language they understand”?)

All I’m sayin’ is, I hate litterbugs and think there should be some karmic equivalent of shoving whatever they litter right back up their a$$es.

The Internet is a wonderful tool for gaining Important Knowledge*

*AKA "See how hard I work all day"

Here's a snippet of an e-mail convo I had today with SIL(H):

SIL: Nice. Real effing nice ... maybe I'll go check out that e-mail of the Zsadist look-a-like... Naked with tats and 12-pack abs. That'll definitely make me feel better. HAHA!

Me: If you go looking at that your screen is gonna be all blurry from licking it!!!! Then you won't be able to do your work!!

SIL: I put it on my background at home last night but didn't mention it to H1. Later on he glanced over and was like "God Damn woman, where'd you get that?" and I was like "Patti" and he got this look on his face that said "sister + hot dudes = ewh, cut dat out". HAHA!!

Me: This is gonna sound weird but.....H1 showed me my first internet penis!

Yes, It's true. My brother showed me my first internet porn. I had heard that you could look at naked people on computers and I didn't believe it. I mean, yeah, chicks - whatev. Naked chicks are everywhere. But GUYS?!? I couldn't believe it. So I went to his house (remember the one near the ferry?) and asked him to show me a naked guy on his computer. And he did. What an awesome brother! Love you H1!

A Little Something for the Ladies

Ever wonder what's under that kilt? Now you know. VERY NSFW. You're welcome.

(and yes, I already realize what you're going to tell me)

Forbidden Fruit tastes the best*

*aka scratching the itch



No internet at work is killing me...it's not like I need to do anything important, but since I know I can't, I NEED to. I thought of all kinds of stuff I want to look up. Of course, now that I'm home, I can't think of any of it.



NERD ALERT: I got the BEST present today from my girlfriend!!!! She gave me a personalized, signed copy of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You made my day, no, week, no, month, no, year!!!! I feel a girl's weekend coming on whenever she goes to Murder by the Book in Houston for a signing of her new book (due out in May).

I guess my hint in my last post wasn't broad enough - look at my blogroll and see Ian's new blog!!!

Happy V Day!

Happy Valentines Day my lovelies! As I sit here, taking a break from paying bills and talking on the phone to my Honey whom I'm not going to see at all today, I can't help but think, "Eh, it's just another day. J treats me like every day is Valentines Day, and I love him for that!" AND, my secret girlfriend sent me a gift....and since shes's my secret girlfriend and she mailed it yesterday, I'm considering it a Valentines Day gift. Which means I need to get on the ball and make her MY homemade gift to her that I've been hinting about for months and even went out and bought the supplies but need to stop blogging and reading (stop reading? Oh the horrors!!) to Just Do It!

Check out my blogroll to the right and see if you notice anything different.....

Ian's progress grades came in and they're amazing! I'm so proud of how well he's improved over the course of the year! After the Mardi Gras madness is over J and I are going to take him to get his Learner's Permit. Yes, it is time. I figure an abandoned mall parking lot has our name all over it pretty soon! Am I scared? Yes. But I guess this is a right of passage every child and parent have gone through together since ol' Henry Ford invented the automobile. Do you think he gave his kids driving lessons?

I've been thinking about ringtones for my cell phone. I definitely want "Bad Things" by Jace Everett (True Blood theme), and "Try a Little Tenderness" by Otis (for my Honey). I wanted "I Wish" by Skeelo but I can't find it. I was also considering "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquoi, but then I started thinking....what song cheers me up every time I hear it? I usually listen to it twice in a row on my Ipod. It's totally cheesy and I love it. I think if I got fired, as long as this song was playing in the background I probably wouldn't be too upset. I didn't think I had a "jam", but does that make this song my jam? I'm not sure what requirements need to be fulfilled to be in posession of said "jam", but can you guess what the song is? Guess..................

It's "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. I know, I know, gayest song on the planet. You don't have to tell me. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to be embarassed if that song is blaring from my phone every time it rings - on the shuttle bus, in my office, in line at the grocery....you get the picture. So - tell me, would you be embarassed to be standing next to me when my phone goes off?

Strategy

One of the things I like about living in New Orleans is Mardi Gras season. Especially now that I work downtown. Watching the city dress herself up for her guests is really something to see. Every day there's something new, from grandstands to decorations to barricades. You can feel the anticipation in the air, it's gonna be good, you just know it. I've also noticed more transients, not homeless, I don't think, but you know - guys (and the occasional girl) with big backpacks, hanging around the charity food handout spots, but not looking like a "true" homeless guy. I think they just come in for Mardi Gras and then keep on going. The kids are starting to ask which parades we're going to see, and I've started planning how to get a good spot, keep track of the kids and folding chairs and ladders, the "bead bags", and the snacks. And maybe, just maybe, work in a bit of drinky to smooth it all along! I'm thrilled H1 and Co. will be coming for the big weekend - sleep while you can, motherf*ckers!!!

Many thanks to all who helped BB by buying and/or selling Girl Scout cookies - she sold 355 boxes!! I didn't think about it until after the fact, but we'll have to sort those cookies - boo!! Haha - just kidding. On the downside, it will be Lent by the time those cookies come in. How am I gonna manage eating yummy cookies during Lent? I'll check the Bible, there's gotta be a loophole in there somewhere....

Molly-Moo is hitting the 2's - HARD. She's making me crazy. I love, love, love her....but I'm finding more and more that I need to just "walk away" for a minute. Maybe they should have explained that the "time out" is not for the kids, but actually the parents!

All I'm sayin' is this....

I'm driving in to work this morning, sitting in traffic, and I notice the car in front of me has gallon-sized ziplock bags over the headrests. WTF? Maybe it's time to change your hair product, seriously.

Mardi Gras will soon be upon us. Molly is at the age where I'm looking forward to it and not looking forward to it at the same time. She's going to be a pain in the butt except when the floats are passing. That's a lot of time to be a pain in the butt.....

BB's Girl Scout clothes came in this week. They're so cute! I'll get a picture as soon as I can. We're going to go to KenEllie's and ChiaMom/Pop's house to sell G.S. cookies today.

That's all I got.