Saturday, October 6, 2007

Bloodbath 7- Teddybear Birthday Party (coming soon to a theatre near you!)

Starring: Mom (me), MG, and BB, assorted unnamed characters

Scene: Expensive home in Algiers Point, Room full of GapMoms and their GapKids. The only people Mom knows are Birthday-Girls parents and the Teddybear Lady they hired to manage the party)

Plot: After making it through most of the party successfully, the cake is cut and kids are running around like sugar-fueled tasmanian devils. Mom is in the large, airy "House Beautiful" kitchen (actually, the lounge area in the kitchen) sitting on the couch, when MG knocks over the plate of chocolate cake (frosting-side down, of course). As Mom is on her knees trying to clean up the dark cake with green frosting, MG decides she kinda liked that walking thing and wants to try it again. At this point the movie flashes back to earlier in the afternoon - MG tried to take a nap but was interrupted because we had to pick up big brother from his football game, so nap didn't really happen. Back to present time - MG decides to try walking again, and trips over her own feet and lands face down on the glass-top coffee table (mouth down, to be specific). So, Mom is on her knees with a handful of cake and icing, now Mom's kid just hit the floor and is bleeding out of her mouth and screaming. As Mom picks her up, MG is bleeding all over herself, and all over Mom's shirt (both characters are wearing pink, of course, all the better to contrast with the blood). Meanwhile, the kids are still running amuck and Mom can't find BB. So now we've got one bloody, screaming baby and one missing child. Great. Luckily, the Birthday Girl's dad is an EMT, so he took a look at MG and at that point BB turned up. We quickly made our exit (notice I did not say discreetly made our exit), and got into the car.

As the credits roll, we see that because we had to leave the party early and all her friends were still there, BBs life is ruined forever .

1 comment:

Aunt Maggie said...

NOW I remember why I don't have toddlers anymore!!! I forgot for a while. Hope she's OK and remember...it's in the Mommy contract to make your children miserable at least once a day. Your duty is done for BB for the day! Now on to the others.... :-)