The Cougar Hierarchy, The Building Blocks of Sandwich Making, and Don’t Look At My Kids While I’m Busy Judging Yours

So I’m hanging out with the family the other night, and one of the kid calls me old…

Hubs: Your mom’s not old, she’s a cougar.
Kids: Cougars are old.
Hubs: No they’re not – it goes like this: Feral Cat, Puma, Cougar, Lioness. Your mom’s not a lioness yet – then she’ll be old.
Me: Thanks honey… I think.

So, I think it goes like this:

Feral Cat: Megan Fox
Puma: Kate Hudson
Cougar: Demi Moore
Lioness: Sharon Stone



On to the sandwich talk:

Talking to SIL(H) the other day, and I mention I don’t eat sliced bread. She tells me H1 doesn’t either. I tell her I don’t eat Peanut Butter; H1 doesn’t either. Or Jelly. Then it really gets weird – she’s telling me how he had to bring his lunch while he was on crutches b/c it took him too long to get to the cafeteria, so she’d make his lunch. Me: “I hope you didn’t make it the night before.” She starts laughing – H1 says don’t make it the night before, no condiments until you’re ready to eat it, and no cheese, it makes the bread soft.

I need to know what happened in our childhood that we have the same sandwich hang-ups. Were we punished with old lunches?

Oh, and speaking of Michael and Hannah – I came up with a cute name for them…not Hannael, Not Michannah, they’re the Titanium Twosome!!! Her arm and his hip – get it? Aaahhh – I crack myself up!



Okay, and lastly, I’ll leave you with a snapshot of my stellar parenting skillz:

In the Chinese restaurant yesterday, the 10yo and the 4yo are singing “F You”…’cause that’s really what you want coming out of your children’s mouths. Then, on the ride home, they’re singing (and dancing) to Jane Fonda (by Mickey Avalon)… and I wonder why Molly has such awesome pole-dancing skills!!!

Hello Stranger...

So hubs is teasing me about not posting – it’s been almost a month! But really, not much has been going on.

We’re getting ready for Ian’s graduation next month (I can’t believe my baby boy is graduating!) and his 18th birthday in July. I think he wants to spend the summer in his truck travelling – anywhere away from his family, lol.

We’re finally getting ready to throw Bridget’s birthday party…her birthday was at the end of February but it’s right in the middle of Mardi Gras so it’s hard to find a time and everyone’s busy going to parades; it’s a bad time for birthday parties. This year her party will be at an art studio, and they will be painting plates (I think) decorated in peace signs. Anyone who knows Bridget knows this is the perfect party for her!!!

Molly-moo is trucking along – she’s become obsessed with Springtime, her birthday (which is in September), kindergarten, and caterpillars.

Here’s a typical conversation we’ve had more than once:
Molly: Is tomorrow kindergarten?
Me: No, it’s after the summer is over, near your birthday.
Molly: Oh. Is it still caterpillar season?
Me: Yes, so you have to be sure to wear shoes outside. (those stinging caterpillars hurt!!!)
Molly: *whines* I don’t like caterpillars. I don’t like spring. I want to go to kindergarten.
Me: *sighs*

As far as Jerrod and myself, we’re both still working hard. Jerrod went on a fishing trip last week and says he had fun. Considering he came home with no fish and not much leftover booze, I’m thinking he had a lot of fun!

So really, I’m not blogging, but there’s not much going on to blog about. Sometimes it’s good to just chill out and catch your breath. I can say this because I see May coming and it’s not going to be pretty – I actually made a calendar to go over with Jerrod so we can keep track of what events, trips, and visitors are happening in May. And of course, in the middle of everything else is my birthday. Can’t forget the most important date of all, lol!!!