Thursday, August 6, 2009

UnforGIFTable

You know how everyone has personality "quirks", things that you either don't know about yourself, or, if you do, you don't think that other people notice?

Well, I had a double-whammy revelation this week...

Let me start by saying that I like to give gifts. I can't do my Christmas shopping early because I'd end up giving the gifts before Christmas and have to start over again!

With that in mind, here's my story: SIL sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago telling me to expect a gift in the mail. She sounded very excited. Did I reply with a thank you? No. I chastised her for sending me a gift when I was not in a position to reciprocate. I immediately realized what I had done and apologized and thanked her ('cause I know she only sends cool gifts!*)

Then, yesterday, J told me I don't accept gifts well. And I know he is right. It is very difficult for me to accept a gift and give nothing in return. I feel very guilty about it. Which is weird, because I have no problem giving gifts. I like giving goofy, silly gifts for no reason. For example, I gave my SILs Twilight Sweethearts. No biggie, less than $2, just something small that says "I knew you would like this and I wanted to make you smile." But, would I be able to accept that graciously from someone else and take it for what it was? I don't know. I do know that there are several people in this world that I will never be able to do enough for in thanks for gifts they have given me, and I'm sure if they knew they would be upset. But I can't help it - it's just the way I am.

Is this a woman thing? A Southern thing? A Catholic thing? Is this common or do I have issues? I don't know. Is there really anything you can do about it?

*It was a very cool and thoughtful gift.

6 comments:

pops said...

Some thoughts - When something is given with something expected in return, then it isn't a gift, it's a barter, an exchange. A gift is given for the reason you stated, to bring a smile to someone, to let them know that you were thinking of them, to let them know that you care. Learning to accept gifts graciously is your cross to bear. My suggestion is to try to, as you did, put yourself in the other person's shoes and recognize the pleasure that they receive by seeing the pleasure that you get from receiving.

Cecile said...

Well, I will make you feel better and tell you that I thought that was just me!!
I am the SAME EXACT WAY!!! I love giving to people... even if it is something so simple as their favorite piece of candy or something. But I love to see people smile. That is my purpose in life... And I do love getting gifts... but only for birthday, Christmas and things like that... it is nice to be the one thought about... but not expected at all!!!
Southern... Just cuz I live by you, I would say yea... But I am learning that there are more people who think like us than I thought, LOL!!!!
I hope you have a grea day tomorrow!

Patti said...

Thanks Dad, In my head I know that's true but knowing it and living it are two different things...

Thanks Cecile, it's nice to know I'm not alone (or crazy!).

Louisiana Rose said...

Maybe to slightly change the subject...I think of things I'd like when it's not my birthday or Christmas, then when that occasion arrives I can't think of a darn thing I want. why is that?

Stalker v1.5 said...

H2 used to yell at me all the time for yelling at him when he would buy us presents.

Not sure about anyone else but for me it stems from the fact that I have everything I could ever NEED so I feel guilty for enjoying things above and beyond that.

Major Dad said...

Look. Since you all are in the giving mood, I have NO problem whatsoever getting gifts and not giving in return! So hook a brother up.hahahahahah