My "New Orleans" Moment

As many of you know, Al Copeland (founder of Popeye's Fried Chicken) died last week. His funeral was today. I heard that his mausoleum was surrounded by his cars, motorcycles, a speedboat, two monster trucks, and his racing boat. Approximately 10 racing cars and sports cars with several motorcycles between them were parked nearby. Wow!

This afternoon, as I was driving back to work from the MMS, I was stopped at a red light, and suddenly a whole legion of motorcycle cops comes cruising by, lights and sirens going strong. Then, a hearse, followed by a Rolls, a Bentley, and approximately 15 stretch limos. Hmmm...what anonomyous citizen of New Orleans could have possibly been in that hearse? The crazy thing is, that's probably the closest I've ever gotten to Al Copeland in my life!

So, I guess that's my "New Orleans" moment, morbid but true!

While I'm at it...

While I'm on the subject, I'd like to tell (or in some cases, retell) Ian's Creepy Childhood Stories. I never really made the connection until I was writing my last post, but maybe Grandpa Smith was taking advantage of being able to say hello to the grandson he'd never meet. It's possible right? I mean, Ian was in that "in between" stage, alive but not born. So it might have been the perfect timing for Grandpa to say hello.

This got me to thinking about how Ian would freak me out when he was small. When he was a baby, he would wake up at night wanting to be fed. After eating, he wouldn't go back to sleep, he'd stare at the wall and smile and laugh. Not just a single laugh, but an ongoing belly laugh. If I moved position he'd move his position so as to be looking at the same spot he was looking at before I moved. I spent many a night wondering what the hell was he laughing at and should I be calling an exorcist.

Then, when he was about 2, we lived in a very small, old shotgun house. During this time, he had two imaginary friends, Karen and Fence. Not Vince, because we asked, but Fence. He would hang out with Karen and Fence and talk to them all the time. I know, lots of kids have imaginary friends. But the reason I mention them is to differentiate between his imaginary friends and "the other stuff". Let me give you the layout of the house: living room, then french doors opened into J and my bedroom, then a small doorway into kitchen, a small hallway with a bathroom on the side and Ian's bedroom at the end. On several occasions, as we were leaving the house, Ian would yell "Wait!" and run back into my bedroom, lean under the computer desk and say goodbye. When we asked if that was Karen or Fence, he would answer neither, but he never would tell us who it was. Also, after we had been living there a few months (we lived there exactly one year), if we were in the living room or my bedroom, and he wanted a toy, he would not go through the kitchen alone to get to his bedroom. He didn't like "the man" in there. I have to be honest, that was part of the reason we started looking for somewhere else to live. It just creeped me out that there might be a questionable spirit living in our house. And that Ian could see him.

After we moved the weird stuff pretty much stopped. BB never had those issues. No imaginary friends, no weird nocturnal laughing, nothing. And I'm good with that.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have....*

*The Facts of Life (80's TV show for those of you too young or senile to remember)

Report cards are in. BB got straight As. Ian is still having a tough time and pulled a few Cs again. He may not be going back into the Honors program next year. I can't help but wonder...is it my parenting? Did HNM not prepare him for high school? Does he not want to make the effort? Or is it really just too hard? I just don't know. And I hate not being able to solve it. Obviously, as a parent, I want the best for my children and from my children. There's no denying Bro. Martin is a good school. HNM I'm seriously having my doubts about and am now very thankful that BB is no longer there. I suppose my answer could be a combination of all of the above. I don't know. I just don't know.

Hannah posted an interesting blog yesterday. In a strange coincidence, a coworker at work on Thursday told me an interesting story about her grandfather. Part of the reason it's strange is that we work at different ends of the office and so rarely see each other. I can't even remember her name, that's how rarely we talk. We got in the elevator together to go home, and she mentioned her grandfather died a day or two before and she was having a hard time with it. They were very close and he had been sick but was getting better. Then, suddenly he aspirated and died an hour before she could get there. She was so upset she didn't get to say goodbye. Then, that night, he came to her in a dream. She said she wasn't really asleep but not awake either. He spoke to her in spanish, which she said he always spoke to her in spanish and he was the only person she spoke to in spanish. He told her two words, which she wrote down before drifing off. The words he spoke translated to "my beautiful one" and "thinking of you with fondness/sadness". He spoke one more word which she didn't rouse herself to write down and now can't remember. The next afternoon she and her husband were taking their daily walk and she heard one of the words her grandfather spoke. It was a man, calling his dog by the same name. She said she walks that route every day/same time, and she's never seen that man or his dog.

I told her I was sure that her grandfather came to tell her it was all okay and he loved her. Then I told her my story about MY grandfather. Some of you know this story, some of you don't. So, for those of you who have never heard the story, here's the condensed version:

Grandpa Smith died right around the date I was "supposed" to give birth to Ian. Because of that, I couldn't fly/drive up with the family for his funeral. One night, while I was asleep, he came to me to tell me he was okay and happy. In my dream, we were in a reception hall, sitting on folding chairs, and he was there, wearing the brightest white tuxedo I have ever seen (and a red cumberbund - don't know what that was all about). I am telling you, he was super bright! He smiled at me and leaned over and touched me. A jolt went through me that was so strong it woke me up. It was like an electric shock. I could feel where he touched me and I was tingly all over for at least 10 minutes after I woke up. To this day I am sure he came to say goodbye to me (and possibly hello to Ian, because I'm SURE he felt it too) because I couldn't come to him.

Tell me if I'm wrong on this...

but I don't think I am...

In a public restroom, if there is a row of stalls and you have to "drop the kids off at the pool", you should, as a courtesy, use the last stall. That way, no one has to walk through your stank to use the facilities.

Someone here at work keeps using the 2nd stall (because, in addition to not using the last stall, they also don't courtesy flush and leave floaters on a regular basis) and it's making me crazy/disgusted.

If we don't have courtesy our society will revert to anarchy and we will live like apes. And I ain't pickin' and eating bugs off of anybody!! That's all I'm sayin'.

Happy Blogday!

I know, I know, it's Easter and I should be sending out happy Easter wishes, but it's also the one-year anniversary of my blog. Hmmm...one whole year of mindless drivel, or as chiapop likes to call it "keyboard diarrhea". Well, I hope if you have happened across my little page that you have enjoyed it, not thought to yourself, "there's a minute or so of my life I'll never get back. Thanks alot, Patti".

BB's Quote of the Day: We were at Easter Vigil last night (2 hours, oh my God) and BB was getting bored. "When are we going to get the bread and wine?" she asks (she doesn't get Communion yet but does walk up for a blessing). "Soon." I replied. "We're getting soup?" She asks. Hahahahaha - that girl is too funny!

May you all have a happy and blessed Easter and here's hope that the world will soon be at peace.

Friday Good

Happy (?Sad? Merry? Sorrowful? What exactly is the greeting for this day?) Good Friday. Went on the 9 Churches walk with KenEllie and Chiamom - Oh my God my legs are sore!!! I did not realize it is a 5 mile walk! But it was good as usual (all 2 times I've gone I mean) and since one of my lenten resolutions was to go to Stations of the Cross it's good that I've now gone at least once. AND, I'm sunburned on 3/4 of my face (think Phantom of the Opera mask) - hopefully that will cover up with makeup!

Took my car to the shop today for new tires and breaks. They're keeping it overnight which is bad b/c J works tomorrow so now I'm without a car, temporarily. Some of you may be getting a phone call tomorrow :) Then we went to Marrero and bought shrimp, took it home and boiled it. Sat outside and ate shrimp with J and the kids - just quiet good times in the backyard. I hope that flashes before my eyes at "the end" too.

As I write this, Ian is on a date. Damn, I'm pretty old. How do I have one child dating and one in diapers? WTF were we thinking? Oh, yeah, I remember.... (heh, heh)... Moving on... he sent J a text that he's happy. What more could any parent ask for?

Speaking of J, he's been home for a week now and I couldn't be happier. He's been hanging out with the kids, done some home-repair chores, and most importantly, spent time with me!! It's a nice change from wondering where he is and what he's doing. It's like we're married. Oh yeah, we are married, although you can't fault me for wondering about his "other" family!

And, I have to share with you my new obsession - Nina by Nina Ricci (turn down your speakers). I love this stuff!!! Originally, I just wanted it because, yes, the bottle is shaped like an apple. But, turns out it smells great! It was okay in the bottle, but it really goes well with my pheromones, or personal scent, or hormones, or whatever. Love, love, love it!!!

So, I finally got BB to start reading Pippi Longstocking. She's reading it out loud and says "They were fond of her and she of them" or something like that. BB asks me what that means, and I tell her that means they like her and she likes them. "Oh, so they're gay." Hahahahahaha!!!!!!

Reaper Madness

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I forgot to wear green today, so pinch me! I forgot to send the kids to school with something green, so hopefully they don't get pinched.

On Saturday, BB, Molly, and I walked around the corner to a garage sale. Nothing big, I picked out a few shirts for Molly and a picture frame for me. BB saw a dress that she loved, and wanted to try it on to make sure it fit, so she put it on over the clothes she was wearing. It's a bit snug, but the lady told her she could have it for free (it was marked $.50) and if she lost a few pounds it would fit really well (she's right). She was so excited she got a free dress! So, BB wore that dress over her clothes all the way home. Picture this, BB running up the sidewalk, pushing Molly in the stroller, wearing pink "Vans"-style tennis shoes, a jean skirt with pink camo trim and matching shirt, and over all of it a sleeveless brown dress. As I walked behind them I thought to myself, if your life really does pass before your eyes when you die this is the kind of moment I hope I see.

Later that afternoon KenEllie came by, and we were looking up songs on youtube with Ian and I mentioned that song from the early 90s (?) "Detachable Penis" and Ian played it on youtube. Fast forward to bedtime, I'm tucking BB in and guess what she starts singing? You guessed it..."But Mom, I can't get it out of my head!"

J came home yesterday - yay! To celebrate we went to Chevy's with Mom and Dad. The service was horrible, let's leave it there. Ian and BB rode with Mom and Dad to the restaurant, and apparently had this conversation:

BB: I've never been down this street before.
Ian: Yes you have.
BB: Okay, only once. But other than that, never.
Dad: If you've done something once, you can't say you've never done it, because you have.
Ian: Like virginity?

Can we widen the door so my ego can fit through?

It has been a pretty good 24 hours. This morning I hit the 20 pounds lost mark!!! I'm feeling better about being able to stick with this but only feel minimally different (some clothes fit better but some still don't fit right). I keep reminding myself I will be able to notice a change soon.

AND, I got a call yesterday from an employment agency that wanted me to interview for a medical malpractice law firm. She said she thought I was exactly what they wanted and they were offering more than I'm making now!! BUT, I really like it here so I didn't even hesitate to say no thanks. It's more than I'm making but not enough to make me consider leaving what I consider to be a "cush" job. It did give me a nice little ego boost though!

Happy Birthday Kenny!

Happy Birthday to my youngest brother and Harry Potter "partner in crime"!

World's tiniest fiddle

The plumber came. We don't have a clogged pipe. We have a broken pipe. Not good, not good. Ordinarily it would be okay but it's just bad timing (isn't it always?). We need a $380 camera scope to determine where the break is, then they can give us an estimate for repairs. Shit.

Ian overhears and comes to me last night to offer me the $100 he has in his room in cash, and tells me if we need to we can borrow his money in his savings account. What a sweet kid - I didn't know whether to burst from pride in my wonderful son or cry! So I went to hug him, and as I put my arms around him I realized my head was at his chest. Oh My God!!! When did my baby boy grow to the size of a man?